To Live Will Be an Awfully Big Adventure
by Rae325
Summary: Regina and Emma return from Neverland with a traumatized Henry. How will they help their son heal? SQ
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is a short first chapter of what I suspect will be a multi-chapter story about Regina and Emma returning home from Neverland with a traumatized Henry. Will be Swan Queen. The title is from _Peter Pan_ by J.M. Barrie. Hope you enjoy; your thoughts and feedback would be very much appreciated._

* * *

He seems more like a baby than the strong independent boy who showed up at her door in Boston. Clutching at Regina who somehow manages to hoist him in the air. Henry's legs wrap around Regina's waist like Emma imagines they had when he was four, five, six years old. Not nine days shy of his twelfth birthday.

They ascend the plank onto the Jolly Roger. Regina carries their son up the ramp, a few beads of sweat the only evidence that Henry weighs any more than he had as an infant in her arms.

"Emma!" Mary Margaret shrieks staring at the red liquid that coats Emma's entire leg. Emma has almost forgotten about the blade that sliced through her flesh just hours ago.

"I'm fine." But now, standing still for the first time in hours, Emma feels herself sway. She's dizzy and nauseous. Maybe it's from the memory of Henry screaming, lost in his own mind, a shadowy figure wrapped around him like a suffocating blanket.

Emma stumbles forward to where Regina has collapsed on the deck, Henry cradled in her lap with his arms around her neck. He's silent now, the whimpering sounds he made at first - the only indication that he was alive -have stopped. Emma kneels down besides them. "Henry," she whispers, leaning in, but not touching his body.

"You're safe now, Henry," Regina tells him. She rubs her palm against his back. "Emma and I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

Emma wonders how Regina can promise such things. "Your mom's right kid." She talks like everything is normal, like he isn't mutely clinging to Regina. "We're going to keep you safe. No reason to be afraid anymore."

They are two women who understand how fear lingers, how you are irrevocably changed by the things that are done to you, but they soothe him with lies anyway.

"Henry," Mary Margaret says, bending down beside the boy and laying her hand on his back.

An almost inhuman sounding cry fills the air.

Emma wonders how her mother could be so stupid. Does she know that little about pain?

Henry is still crying. At least it reassures Emma that he's alive.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh," Regina soothes, rocking Henry gently.

"What's wrong with him?" Mary Margaret asks.

"Nothing," Regina replies angrily before her voice changes entirely and she returns to soothing Henry. Emma wonders if Henry will ever be the same. She wonders whether Regina has even stopped to think about that.

Emma looks around and realizes that her parents, Gold, and Hook are standing over them. Each wears an expression of horror. Emma is overcome by the desire to move them all away, to shield Henry from their scrutiny, even if right now he is aware of nothing besides Regina's presence. Emma begins to stand but she's forgotten about her leg and it gives way under the stab of pain.

Emma falls to the deck. Regina almost forgot that Emma was injured; she had walked hours without a complaint, through the world with no magic and no healing. "Come here," Regina says, one hand leaving Henry's back to reach out to Emma.

Warmth spreads through the wound, and the pain is gone. Emma can't stop to think about how magic can mend skin and muscle, can take away the throbbing pain, can remove the woozy feeling of having her blood leak from her body. She can only think of Henry. "Regina." The name sounds like a plea.

Regina's eyes meet Emma's. Regina looks just as terrified as Emma feels, and all hopes that Regina can magically make Henry better too disappear. "Should we put him to bed?" Emma asks uncertainly. She is still keenly aware that they are being stared at.

Regina nods, and manages to stand without letting go of Henry.

"You can take my bed," Hook says. "There's room there to lie down with him."

Regina nods her thanks, and she and Emma descend the stairs to Hook's cabin.

Emma closes the door behind them, her back pressed against it. The space is small and claustrophobic, and Emma wonders whether it will make Henry more scared. But he barely seems to register the change of venue.

"Henry," Regina whispers, running her fingers through the soft strands of his hair. "Do you want to try to sleep?" He says nothing, and so she kicks off her shoes and lies down on the stiff bunk. Henry's lying on her chest, and it reminds Regina of the nights when he was fussy as a baby and she would lie with him in her bed desperately hoping for a few hours of sleep before he woke her.

For a minute the truth of the situation hits Regina and she feels sick with the idea that Henry will never be ok again. She swallows back the bile in her throat and focuses all her thoughts on the patterns she is tracing on Henry's back.

Emma wonders if she should leave, wonders if now that they found Henry the understanding between she and Regina will fade away. They had walked through the forest together today with their son. Bringing him home had been their singular purpose for a week. Things were supposed to be ok once he was in their arms. He was supposed to be telling stories about how he fought the lost boys, how he couldn't believe that tinker bell was real.

Emma sits down besides the bed. She can't leave Henry. She rests an arm on the edge of the bed, laying her head on top of it. Her body aches and reminds her of what she has put in through.

Regina watches Emma wince in pain. "I don't bite."

"What?"

"You can lie on the bed Emma."

"Oh, uh, thanks." Emma stands, wondering why she's so nervous. She and Regina have seen each other reduced to tears this last week. They've seen each other bleed and fall and be sick. Emma lies down, unfurling the blanket that rests at the foot of the bunk. She tucks the blanket around the three of them and lays her head on the hard mattress.

Regina inches towards the wall of the cabin silently making room for Emma to share the solitary pillow. Emma leans over; her face is besides Regina's cheek. Emma is close enough to observe the streaks of dirt and dried sweat on her bedmate's skin. Emma wonders whether her breath tickles Regina, but Regina says nothing, just closes her eyes and tightens her arms around Henry.

Emma reaches her arm out to wrap it around Henry, overcome now by the urge to touch him and make sure that he is really beside her. Her hand settles next to Regina's on their son's back. Emma is grateful that he doesn't flinch. She closes her eyes and chases sleep that she is certain won't come to her tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Regina wonders for a second whether Henry will be angry with her for using magic before deciding to take the chance and conjure up three bowls of ice cream. Henry had refused to eat the dinner that Snow prepared, and so he, Emma, and Regina are all sitting on the bed in Hook's small cabin.

"I thought you couldn't just make food appear out of nowhere," Emma comments, looking at her bowl of ice cream with suspicion.

"That's true in _Harry Potter _dear. Not in real life."

Regina hands Henry his bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough with whipped cream and about a dozen maraschino cherries – exactly what he had demanded growing up.

"I didn't know which flavor you prefer," Regina says, waving her spoon vaguely in the direction of Emma's ice cream. "So I gave you half and half."

Emma feels sick. She hasn't eaten anything in the three days since they found Henry. "This is good." She moves her spoon around in her ice cream wondering if Regina will be upset if she simply plays with her ice cream until it melts.

Regina dips her spoon into her bowl of coffee ice cream. She should have infused it with extra caffeine. She can hardly remember the last time that she's slept.

And then she hears it. "Thanks Mom." Regina's head whips to look at Henry, who shovels a second spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. She wonders if she imagined the sound until she sees Emma's equally stunned expression.

Regina leans over, one hand resting on the back of Henry's head as she presses a kiss to his temple. Tears are falling of their own accord. Falling faster and faster until she's gasping for air in an attempt not to start sobbing.

Emma moves forward and flings her arms around both of them. She is more grateful than she has been for any sound in her life. Regina reaches out and wraps an arm around Emma's waist, clutching desperately at her shirt.

* * *

It's their last night at sea. Emma is staring up into the darkness of the cabin, once again unable to sleep. Besides her Regina has her eyes closed, and Henry - cuddled against Regina's chest between them - is snoring softly. He's peaceful now, but Emma knows that it will only be a matter of time until his cries pierce the air. She wishes that she could get a few moments sleep during the silence.

Emma sighs and closes her eyes. Her leg brushes against Regina's and the warmth of it is comforting. Emma inches a little bit closer so that her leg can rest flush against Regina's. As she moves closer, Emma feels wetness soak through her pajama pants. She reaches down, patting the mattress. The dampness spreads out around Henry, and for a second Emma can't wrap her head around it. He's almost twelve. She doesn't know much about kids, but she knows that this isn't right.

"Regina," Emma whispers. Regina wakes with a start, looking around anxiously. "It's ok," Emma says. Regina looks down at Henry. He's still sleeping soundly, and she lets out a relieved breath. "Henry wet the bed."

Regina touches the mattress: soaked. She feels like crying. "He was five last time he wet the bed." She bites back the tears.

"Henry," Regina whispers, rubbing his arm to wake him. Henry looks around disoriented but less frightened than he has been on previous nights. "You had an accident, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry." Tears fill Henry's eyes.

"It's ok," Regina reassures him. "Nothing to be sorry about." His face looks so young, and he stares at her with pleading eyes. She wants to take it all away from him so badly. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Emma reaches out to pat Henry's back as he and Regina get out of bed. She tries not to let it sting that he can't bring himself to meet her eyes. She busies herself stripping the bed.

Regina takes Henry's hand and leads him down the hallway to the small bathing area. "Ok," Regina says, waving her hand over the bucket of water until it's warm. "Why don't you get cleaned up, and I'll help Emma remake the bed." Regina turns back to Henry, and when she does there are tears rolling down his cheeks. She gathers him up in her arms

"I'm sorry," he tells her again.

"You have nothing to apologize for Henry," Regina says looking him in the eyes. "Something terrible happened to you, and this is a perfectly natural reaction to that."

He says nothing but nods slightly. "I love you," Regina says leaning forward to kiss Henry's forehead. "I'll be right outside."

"No!" Henry won't let go of the front of Regina's pajamas. "Don't go."

"Ok," Regina says, cupping Henry's cheek in her palm. "I won't go anywhere, so you don't have to be afraid. Is it ok if I sit right over there while you wash?"

Henry nods, and Regina sits down on a stool in the corner of the room. She faces the wall, trying to give her son some privacy as he bathes. Her nearly twelve-year-old son. She presses a fist into her mouth to keep from sobbing.

* * *

The small cabin is claustrophobic for Emma. Clean dry sheets line the bed now. The bed in the room that Emma has spent nearly every minute in since they returned with Henry. A small room so filled with pain that sometimes she thinks it's palpable in the air.

Emma leaves the cabin, and seeing that the bathroom door is still shut she takes the free moment to walk up onto the deck. The cool breeze and the vastness of the sky calm Emma. She feels like she can finally breathe.

"Cold night," Hook's voice calls from behind Emma.

She looks down at her chest, wonders if he's making yet another inappropriate comment.

"Relax Swan. I was merely going to be chivalrous and offer you my jacket."

"I'm fine." She leans over the side of the boat and stares in the direction of Neverland. She hadn't known that she could hate any place so much. "You know Peter Pan, right?"

"Unfortunately I do."

Emma turns to face Hook. "Tell me what he did to my kid."

"At first he only took the ones without families. But then he learned how to get into the boys' heads. He makes them see things. Makes them believe that their families are dead or that they abandoned them. He shows them the images that they most fear over and over until they forget what's real. He breaks them all eventually."

Emma feels sick and wonders if she is about to throw up on Hook. She doesn't. Instead she stands with her mouth wide open, gaping in horror.

"That's why he won't let go of Regina."

Hook nods. Emma needs to be with Henry right now.

Emma races back to the cabin, and as she approaches she hears Regina singing _You Are My Sunshine_. Emma opens the door to find Henry sitting on Regina's lap while she sings to him. Regina's eyes are red and she looks like she is barely hanging on right now. She's holding onto Henry so tightly and Emma knows that is as much for Regina's benefit as it is for Henry's.

Emma sits down on the bed next to them. She's about to throw her arms around Henry when she notices that his eyes are closed. "I think he's asleep," she whispers to Regina.

The singing stops and Emma misses it immediately. She hadn't realized how much Regina's voice was calming her until the silence settled over them again. Regina looks down at Henry; he's asleep with his face pressed into her neck and his arms around her waist. All she has wanted for so long was to have her son show her affection again. But not like this. Never like this.

A sob escapes from Regina's lips and she looks at Henry to make sure she hasn't woken him. He continues sleeping soundly against her as she tries to keep from shaking too hard with the sobs that she is suddenly unable to contain. And then the sound of Emma's cries join her own, and Regina turns to look at Emma's tear stained face. Regina reaches out and grasps Emma's hand. Their fingers weave together, and the tears begin to fall harder as they stare at their son and hold on tightly to each other's hands.


	3. Chapter 3

They come through the portal a short distance from Storybrooke's harbor. "Mom," Henry calls while Regina is busying herself tidying up Hook's cabin. "I don't want to talk to anyone. They'll ask questions, and I don't want to talk about it."

"That's ok, sweetheart." Regina sits on the edge of the bed next to Henry. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"Can you like disapparate us home?"

Regina can't quite contain a laugh at the question. The sound makes Emma's body tingle; she realizes that she's never heard Regina laugh before. "That settles it," Regina says, "When we get home, I'm going to give you two a lesson about magic. J.K. Rowling did _not_ get everything right."

Emma wonders if Regina means what Emma thinks she means. But it's not possible. She must mean back to Storybrooke. Regina catches Emma's confused expression and clarifies: "I meant to ask you earlier whether you would be willing to stay at my house for a while. I suspect that would be better than having me come to Snow's apartment. And I will not be leaving Henry." At the last statement Regina's voice gains a hard edge as if preparing for a fight.

"Of course not," Emma says. The thought of separating Henry from Regina had never crossed her mind. If anything she's begun to regret ever keeping them apart. "I'm just surprised that you would want me to stay with you."

"Henry needs us both," Regina says before leaning over and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. "And we have more than enough room for you."

"Yeah. Ok. Thanks."

Regina nods at Emma. She's relieved that Emma will be staying. As much as Regina made the offer for Henry, Regina is also truly grateful that she will have someone else who understands how much seeing Henry like this hurts.

"And yes, Henry, we can travel by _apparation_."

"What _do_ you call it?" Emma inquires.

"We never had a special word for it. It's simply a faster means of travel."

"Ok, so we'll take the magical express lane back to your house." She turns to Henry and sees that he's smiling. It makes Emma's face break out in a grin too. "Sound good kid?"

"Yeah." He's still smiling.

* * *

Henry runs up to his room when they get home. Emma and Regina trail behind him, and Emma wonders if he is about to slam the door in their faces. It's what she had done each time she went to a new foster home: run into the bedroom and hide away. But when she and Regina reach Henry's room the door is wide open, and Henry is sitting on his bed holding a tattered old teddy bear.

"You really found me," Henry whispers, and oh god, it hurts Regina and Emma so much to realize that Henry hadn't been sure whether the days since his rescue were real or a dream.

Regina runs to Henry and throws her arms around him. "This is real Henry. We found you, and you're home now. Emma and I are here, I promise." Regina looks up at Emma who takes the cue to join them.

"Hey kid," Emma says settling down next to Henry and Regina. "You know how you know that this is real?" Henry shakes his head. "The three of us are living together. Would you have ever thought that would happen?" Understanding flashes on Henry's face. "So that means that this can't be in your head."

"You're a genius!" Henry exclaims, giving Emma a giant hug. Regina looks like she wants nothing more than to hug Emma too.

* * *

"Henry," Regina whispers when his head lolls to the side once again. "Why don't we go to bed?"

"I'm awake." Henry sits up straighter, obviously exhausted.

"Are you afraid to fall asleep?" Regina asks. She brushes a stray strand of hair from his face, wanting an excuse to touch him. Henry shakes his head. "It's ok to be scared," Regina promises.

Henry clutches the teddy bear in his arms harder. "I don't want to be alone."

"Oh Henry," Regina says, upset that she hadn't reassured him sooner that he wouldn't need to sleep alone. "We can have a slumber party just like we used to."

"Can Emma come too?"

Regina smiles softly. "Of course."

"What's this slumber party?" Emma asks.

"When I used to have bad dreams, Mom let me sleep in her bed with her." He looks a little embarrassed to need the same sort of reassurances that he had needed when he was small.

"It'll be fun," Regina tells Henry. The last thing she wants is for Henry to feel like he can't ask her for what he needs.

Emma looks at Regina, wanting permission before agreeing to share her bed. Regina nods, and so Emma tells Henry, "It does sound like fun. I've never been to a slumber party before."

Henry raises his eyebrow disbelievingly. "Really?"

"Really. And I'm pretty tired, so I think we should start this party soon."

"Yeah," Henry agrees.

Regina wraps her arm around Henry's shoulders and leads him up the stairs to his room. "Do you want us to wait here or come in while you get changed?" Regina asks.

"I'll be ok by myself."

Regina squeezes Henry's arm and gives him a reassuring smile because he looks so frightened at being away from her for a few minutes. "We'll stand right here," she promises before Henry goes into his bedroom and shuts his door.

Regina leans back against the wall and lets out a sigh. She concentrates on breathing and getting through each moment. If she stops and thinks, it will be too much and she won't be able to be who her son needs her to be.

"Thanks for letting me sleep with you guys tonight," Emma says.

"Of course. Henry wants you with him, and I will do anything that he needs to feel safe."

Emma smiles softly at Regina. "Me too."

"I haven't been the mother that Henry deserves, but I promised him that I would be better and I am not going to let him down again."

Regina's face speaks of such regret and such determination, and Emma is overcome by the desire to comfort the woman who loves their child so much that she was willing to lay down her life for his happiness. Emma reaches out and grabs Regina's hand. "No, _we're_ not."

Regina smiles gratefully at Emma.

* * *

They wake to the sound of Henry's shrieks of terror. "Henry, Henry, wake up." Regina shakes Henry, but he is still caught in a nightmare world of shadows and memories, and the distant sound of his mother's voice feels like a promise that cannot possibly come true.

Finally, Regina manages to wake him. Eyes fly open and dart around the room. "It's ok sweetie." He looks at her disbelievingly. "Henry, look at me. You're home." She smiles at him. "I'm here and Emma's here."

Emma tries to smile at Henry, but she is certain that it comes out more of a grimace. "Hey kid."

"It's ok, Henry. Everything is going to be ok." Regina tells him again.

But Henry only grows more upset. He climbs out of bed, looks around frantically, and crouches down in the corner. "You aren't real."

Regina and Emma kneel down in front of Henry. Regina lifts his chin and stares into his eyes. "This is real Henry." Her voice is calming and warm. "Emma and I are here. You're home and you're safe."

"No, it's a trick."

"Why would Peter Pan show you something good?" Regina asks.

"Because it's worse when he takes it away."

Regina wraps her arms around Henry and pulls him into her lap. Whether he believes she is real or not, he lets her hold him. Henry curls his body into hers. "Please Mommy. Be real. Be real. Be real."

The sounds of his pleas make Regina want to scream and sob and find Pan and make him suffer. Instead she controls herself and calmly asks Henry, "Do you remember what you and Emma talked about earlier? You would never dream about this right? Emma and I are getting along, and that's too farfetched for you to even imagine."

Henry sniffles. He doesn't seem convinced and continues clinging to Regina as though at any moment she will disappear. "It's ok sweetheart. I'm here." She presses a kiss to his hair as she had when she rocked him as a baby.

"Your mom and I aren't ever going to leave you," Emma promises. She wonders whether Henry had seen images of her abandoning him. She wonders whether he has believed for his whole life that she abandoned him.

Regina keeps rocking Henry, Emma pressed up close against them, but it does nothing to stop the way that Henry's body shakes and he seems lost in his mind and in his fears that his mothers will vanish at any moment.

Emma realizes that all the reassurance in the world isn't going to make Henry believe that they are real. Time for a different tactic: distraction. "You know what I like when I can't sleep?" No answer. "Hot chocolate. And you once told me that your mom makes the best cocoa, so I think that it's time for her to prove it to me."

"Of course Henry was right," Regina declares. It's a struggle to keep her voice light and upbeat. "What do you say, sweetheart? I think cocoa sounds like a good idea."

"I guess," he says.

Regina smiles encouragingly. "That's my boy. Come on." She stands up, keeping an arm wrapped around Henry in what she desperately hopes is a reassuring embrace. Henry reaches his hand out for Emma, and the three of them head to the kitchen.

* * *

Henry passes out on the couch between his mothers. Emma and Regina are so relieved that he has finally fallen back asleep that they don't even consider moving him. Instead they watch a telenovela in a desperate attempt not to think about the fact that their son doesn't believe that they are real.

"Do you have any cider?" Emma asks. She thinks that Regina is going to make a remark about the fact that it's 4 a.m. and far from an appropriate time for cider, but she doesn't. Regina simply nods, leaves the room, and returns a minute later with two tumblers.

Regina sits down next to Emma and hands the other woman her drink. They sip quietly for a few minutes. Their bodies are close but not touching.

Emma breaks the silence. "What if he's never the same?" It hurts to ask, but she needs to say the words out loud, to have them both hear the likely truth of the situation.

"He'll be fine," Regina insists. "Henry is a strong boy."

"Things break even the strongest people Regina."

Regina knows this to be true, of course, but she cannot acknowledge the possibility of her son being hurt in that way. "It's only been a few days. We just need to give him time."

Emma nods, and silence settles across the living room once more. Emma feels alone in this moment. She needs someone else to realize that things might never be ok again. She hates feeling like the bad parent who doesn't have faith in their son, but she doesn't know how to simply believe that he will get better.

"We'll love him," Regina whispers a minute later. Emma can hear the tears in her voice. "If he's never the same, we will love him anyway. He's our son, and we will just love him."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Thank you for the wonderful response to this story. This chapter is all Regina and Emma. It's set on Henry's birthday, and there will be a part two of sorts to continue the celebration (with the birthday boy) in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and should you feel so inclined I am always grateful for feedback._

* * *

"I can't believe that you make cheesecake from scratch?"

"It's Henry's favorite."

Regina opens the refrigerator and begins handing the necessary ingredients to Emma who sets them on the counter. Regina peeks her head into the living room to check on Henry before getting the dry ingredients from the cupboard. He's still sleeping soundly on the sofa.

"What's first?" Emma asks, setting down her glass of cider.

"The crust. We're going to need the whole box of graham crackers. You can start putting them into the food processor."

"Do you make Henry cheesecake every year?"

"It's the only birthday cake he ever wants. One year I decided to try something a little different, and I made blueberry topping instead of strawberry. Henry was not pleased."

"Kid had you wrapped around his finger from early on huh?"

"Indeed," Regina agrees. She unwraps a stick of butter and places it into the microwave to melt. "Now we add the butter and a teaspoon of cinnamon."

"On it," Emma says, mixing the ingredients. She helps herself to a spoonful of crust. "Mmm…I didn't know that butter and graham crackers would taste so good."

Regina takes a spoon from the silverware drawer and takes a bite of the mixture herself. Emma stares at Regina as she sucks on the spoon. "What?" Regina asks.

Emma shrugs with a smile. "I just never thought that you would be an eat of the bowl type of girl."

Regina raises an eyebrow at Emma. "How could I know if what I'm cooking is coming out well without tasting it?"

Regina looks down at her watch. "12:56." She steals another glance at Henry's sleeping form. "Henry always insists on staying up to celebrate the minute of his birth. I let him have one present before bed."

When Regina turns to Emma, she sees that green eyes are glassy with unshed tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm ok," Emma says turning away from Regina.

"I can imagine that today must be difficult for you."

Emma feels hot tears falling down her cheeks. No one has ever acknowledged her pain on this day before. She had always spent Henry's birthday trying to push the pain away, drinking enough to pass out and sleep through the moment of her son's birth.

Emma feels ridiculous, but here - in the house where her son grew up - with his mother looking at her with more understanding than Emma has ever known, she is unable to stop the tears. Emma buries her face in her hands, embarrassed.

Then there is warmth surrounding Emma, and Regina is hugging her with the same strong arms that embrace their son. Emma doesn't know what to do with comfort like this; it is so foreign from what her life has been. She cries into Regina's shoulder.

Regina says nothing. She just holds Emma tightly and rubs soothing circles on her back. When Emma's sobs quiet, Regina presses her lips close to Emma's ear and whispers, "Thank you."

Emma looks up, surprised by the words. Her face is impossibly close to Regina's and there are tears in brown eyes. Regina's eyes are wide with an expression that seems to go so far beyond compassion and kindness.

Regina stands holding Emma in her arms, learning that Emma cries in exactly the same way as their son, in short bursts of sobs that leave her breathless and gasping for air. It feels impossible for Regina not to love this woman who made their son. Henry – her beautiful Henry – is part of Emma. She had grown and nurtured him for nine months, and then she had the strength to give him up. Emma gave Regina the very best thing in her life, and Regina can't help but love her for it.

Emma feels too close and vulnerable with the way Regina is staring at her, the way Regina's arms are still wrapped around her, fingers moving gently and soothingly. Emma wipes the tears from her cheeks and smiles her thanks at Regina.

"Ok, what's next?" Emma asks turning back to the cheesecake.

Regina doesn't skip a beat. "The crust needs to be pressed into a springform pan."

"A what?"

"I see that I have a lot to teach you."

* * *

"Thank you for doing this," Emma tells her mother when she stops by early the next morning to drop off Henry's presents. Henry has refused to be separated from either of his mothers and so they had been unable to purchase his presents themselves.

"Of course." Snow hands her daughter a large bag full of beautifully wrapped gifts. "I picked up everything that you asked for, and there are a few presents in there from David and me."

"Thanks."

"How is he?"

"He slept through the night." Emma has begun to measure progress in this way, in these small accomplishments that should be unremarkable to the parent of a 12 year old.

Snow smiles sadly. She rests her hand on Emma's forearm. "He'll get better," she promises. Emma wonders if Snow believes it or if she thinks the lie will help Emma get through the day.

"Henry'll be awake soon, so I better get going."

"Tell him that his grandparents love him and wish him a very happy birthday. And when he's well again we can all have a party."

Emma grits her teeth. She hates the way Snow says _when he's well again _as if Henry has come down with the flu. "Thanks again for this," Emma says indicating the presents in her hand.

Emma returns to Regina's bedroom where Henry is asleep in his mother's arms. Emma decides to lie back down with them for a while. She pulls back the covers and tries to be as quiet as possible.

"Good morning," Regina says opening her eyes.

"Sorry. I was trying not to wake you."

"I wasn't sleeping."

"Henry still doing ok?"

"He's fast asleep. I can't believe he made it through the night." Henry had barely even stirred when Regina had carried him from the couch to the bedroom.

"I know." Emma wonders if this is what it would be like to have a baby: worrying over every noise and movement, being grateful when he finally sleeps through the night. "Was Henry an easy baby?" Emma isn't sure whether she has a right to ask. She chose to give her child up; these memories are things that Regina has earned, not her.

"He was colicky for the first six months, but after that he was an angel." She gazes fondly at Henry, curled against her chest. "He was an angel from the start, but an angel who barely let me sleep for months."

"Thank you," Emma whispers. She has to wipe away the tears that have begun to fall.

Regina frowns slightly at the gratitude and shakes her head. "Henry is my whole world."

"Yeah, I know." Emma wonders how she ever doubted Regina's love for Henry. "This is why I put him up for adoption." Regina raises a questioning eyebrow. "I wanted Henry to have everything that I never did. Birthdays that make him feel like the most special kid is the world. A mother who would do anything to make him happy."

"He has two of those now."

A sob escapes Emma's lips. She and Regina have fought over Henry for so long, and although Emma had insisted that she was Henry's real mother, she had never truly believed it. Regina smiles and nods reassuringly. Emma thinks that maybe this time she can be the mother that Henry needs, because unlike 12 years ago, she won't have to do it alone.


	5. Chapter 5

"What was your favorite birthday?" Emma asks. She and Regina are passing the time until Henry wakes with inconsequential questions.

Favorite food, the game had begun an hour ago. _Apple pie._ Emma had rolled her eyes. _Predictable._

Regina smiles as a birthday memory comes to mind. "When Henry was five he decided to make me a cake for my birthday. He knew that he wasn't allowed to use the oven, so he made a cake out of bread, peanut butter, jelly, chocolate sauce, Oreos, and whipped cream"

Emma scrunches up her nose. She can't quite imagine how those ingredients become a cake. Regina chuckles and tells Emma, "It was disgusting. But Henry was so proud of his creation." Regina looks down at Henry fondly. She promises herself that she will make him smile today like he had all those years ago. "We ate two pieces each. After that I convinced Henry that we should bake my birthday cakes together."

Regina stares at Henry, lets herself get lost in her little boy for a moment. Gratefulness for the fact that they found him washes over her, and she squeezes him a little tighter to her chest before asking Emma, "What about you?"

"Favorite birthday?"

Regina nods.

"My birthday when I was 12 wasn't too bad. I was with a good foster family. We had cake, and they gave me presents."

Regina tries to ignore the sorrow that settles itself in her chest at Emma's response.

"I suppose," Emma continues, gazing at Henry while she talks, "in a way the best birthday I ever had was when Henry found me. I mean the day itself kind of sucked. I worked, lit a candle on a cupcake by myself, and then freaked out when Henry showed up. But that day changed my life, and as crazy as it is, I'm happy it did." The rest she isn't sure of, but having Henry in her life is enough to make everything worth it.

"You probably wish that day never happened, huh?"

Regina thinks of her son cuddling against her chest. She thinks of him going to her side down in the mines when they thought all hope was lost. She thinks of him telling her that he loves her.

Regina remembers the way her body had begun counting out the days once again when the curse broke. The pain that first month she had bled again had been a reminder that she was human and destructible. But now, each month feels like the promise that change is possible, even for her.

"I don't wish that," Regina whispers.

Emma waits, hoping for more. Regina simply smiles softly, and Emma no longer feels the need for words.

* * *

"When did you get all of these?" Henry asks looking at the pile of presents.

"We already had some hidden away," Regina says. "And Mary Margaret helped us by picking up the rest."

_We_. Emma doesn't know what to make of the word.

_We _takes them until Henry unwraps a present that is unquestionably from Regina. Henry pulls off colorful wrapping paper to find a cardboard box, just like he does every year. He looks at Regina uncertainly before he opens the box to find six months worth of all his favorite comics.

Henry turns back to Regina, and she thinks she can see tears in his eyes.

"You got them for me," he whispers.

"Of course sweetheart." Regina watches Henry beside her as he struggles with his feelings. "I always give you comics for your birthday."

"But this year…" Henry looks down sadly, maybe a little ashamed. "You collected them for me anyway."

Regina's fingers lift up Henry's chin so that he's looking at her when she tells him: "Always." She offers him a reassuring smile.

Henry maintains his mother's gaze for a moment longer before wrapping his arms around her. "I love you Mom."

"I love you too Henry."

* * *

"I don't think I can eat another bite," Emma declares when Regina offers her a second slice of cheesecake.

"Lightweight," Henry tells her as he digs his fork into the second piece that he and Regina are sharing.

"What do you want to do after cake?" Regina asks. She knows that Henry is still anxious about going outside, but she doesn't want him to spend his birthday cooped up in the house.

"I don't know," he replies with a shrug.

"How about we go to our beach," Regina suggests. "It'll just be the three of us."

"Do you own your own beach?" Emma asks. It's a beautiful day, and the town beach will most definitely be crowded.

"No," Henry tells Emma. "We found it. It's kind of hidden away behind some rocks, so you have to climb to get there. It's our secret beach."

It's a glimpse of a life that Emma knows nothing of, a time when mother and son were happy and needed no one else. She tries not to be jealous, instead telling Henry in her most enthusiastic voice, "Well, I want to see this beach!" This she can do, fun and games and encouraging Henry to try to live again. She can do this. She can give this to him.

"Do you even have a bathing suit here?" Henry asks.

"She can borrow one of mine," Regina tells Henry. "Why don't you go put your suit on?" When he still looks nervous, she adds, "If we get there and you don't want to get out of the car, we can turn right around and spend the day trying out your new video games. Ok?"

Henry nods and runs off to his room.

"Come on dear," Regina tells Emma. "Let's see if we can find you something to wear."

* * *

Emma doesn't understand how Regina manages to look so graceful climbing over rocks in a bathing suit and sarong. Emma herself feels awkward and out of her element wearing one of Regina's elegant one-piece swim suits. Emma has only ever worn bikinis and cut off jean shorts, and while Regina pulls the look off perfectly, Emma is not so sure she plans to make a habit of borrowing Regina's clothes.

"We're here!" Henry declares as they come over the last ledge of rocks to find themselves on a small sandy beach.

"This is awesome kid!" And it is. The beach looks like something out of a movie. Rock caves and foam capped waves. "Last one in's a rotten egg," Emma calls as she begins running for the water. Henry and his imagination have made Emma remember a part of herself that loved games and adventure, a part of her that had disappeared far too early in life.

"Not so fast you two." Regina reaches into her large bag of supplies. "Sunscreen."

They set out a beach blanket before Regina begins applying sunblock to Henry's back while he rubs it on his arms and legs.

"Would you like me to do your back Emma?" Regina asks once Henry is covered in lotion.

"Yeah, thanks."

Emma moves to sit in front of Regina. Hands touch Emma's back and she tries not to think about the tingling sensation that spreads through her body. She tries not to think about how this touch makes her feel more than she has in a very long time.

"All set," Regina says a minute later when she finishes with Emma's back and Henry finishes with hers. "You two are free to go."

But Henry doesn't move. He looks at Regina nervously. "You don't have to swim," she says, pulling him into her arms. "You can stay right here." Regina presses Henry's back into her chest and kisses his cheek. "Whatever you want is ok sweetie."

"I want to swim, but what if…"

"What if what?"

"What if there are mermaids?"

"Henry," Regina says, pressing a kiss to his temple. She wonders how to handle this new irrational fear. "There aren't mermaids in Storybrooke."

"But there wasn't magic in Storybrooke, and now there is. What if they come here, and they take me away?" Henry's voice is panicky, and Regina gives him a reassuring squeeze.

"Emma and I are here now, and we _will_ protect you from anything that tries to hurt you."

"That's right," Emma jumps in. "Your mom is pretty powerful, and you know, I'm not too shabby with magic myself it turns out."

Henry fidgets anxiously for a minute before telling Emma, "Ok, let's go."

He stands up from Regina's lap. "You don't want to come Mom?"

"I'd like to warm up before jumping into the icy water myself, but if you want me to come with you, I can."

"It's ok," Henry tells her. "You can stay here. But can you watch us to make sure that we don't get hurt?"

"Of course. You two have fun."

Regina watches them run towards the water. Emma shrieks as the cold Maine water hits her skin, and Henry laughs at her. Emma looks happy and at ease with Henry, like each day she figures out more and more how to be a mother. She lets the joy of Henry's presence consume her, racing him out to a rock, and cheering when he beats her. She takes pleasure in Henry, in the way Regina had in the early years of his life before he had turned away from her, and their relationship began to feel too dangerous for Regina to be open and free with her son. Regina is overcome by the desire to give herself to him completely once again as she had in those days, to let Henry have the mother that he deserves.

* * *

"It is officially no longer your birthday," Regina announces. "Now go put your pajamas on!"

"I think I'll try sleeping in my own bed tonight. I _am _12 now."

"Henry," Regina says softly, taking one of his hands in her own. "Whether you're 12 or 30 or 100, you're still my baby. So if you need me." She catches herself, her omission. "Or Emma, then we are going to be here."

"Yeah, I know. But I want to try to sleep alone tonight."

"Ok, sweetheart. You just remember that you can come and get us anytime."

"I know."

"Good. Why don't we come tuck you in?"

Henry welcomes the comforting ritual. Even if he is 12 now, Henry needs the old familiar bedtime routine. It's a routine that he hasn't had for a year now, but he's back in his old room with his mother again, and now he needs this.

Regina tucks the blanket around him, making him a snug, cozy cocoon. She leans over and kisses Henry's forehead.

Emma sits down on the other side of the bed. "Did you have a good birthday?" she asks.

Henry smiles, and Emma believes him when he tells her, "Yeah. It was awesome." Emma hears Regina let out a relieved breath beside her. "It was really cool for the three of us to spend the day together."

It's the first year that Emma has spent her son's birthday with him. Her heart aches and feels full of joy at the same time. It's a bit overwhelming.

"I'm really happy that I got to spend my birthday with you, Emma."

"Yeah, me too kid." Emma feels like she could cry, and then she feels a warm hand on her back. Regina holds her gaze for a minute, steady, calming. "I love you Henry." The words are still uncomfortable for Emma to say, but she does love him so much.

"I love you too." He reaches his arms out of the blanket and reaches up to hug Emma. When they part, he reaches for Regina. "I love you," he tells her.

"I love you too, sweetheart. I'm glad you had a good birthday. If you need us, please wake us."

"I will Mom," he insists.

"Good night, Henry," Regina tells him.

"Night kid."

Emma and Regina stand reluctantly and leave the room. They close the door and exchange nervous glances, wondering whether Henry will be all right.

"I'll make up the guest room for you," Regina says. The thought of sleeping alone fills Regina with a sense of loneliness that has haunted her whole life. There had been a respite in this past week, a warm body next to her, a woman who understood what Regina was going through. Their son between them, holding onto Regina. She hadn't been alone.

Regina and Emma make the guest bed in silence. They coordinate their movements easily, working without a word. Regina smoothes the blanket, running her hand over the soft material over and over. "Do you need anything else?"

Emma searches for something to ask for, something to make this moment last longer. Today had been – today had been something that Emma never expected to have in her life. She craves Regina's presence.

"No. I'm ok. Thanks Regina."

Regina nods. Emma thinks that Regina's eyes have the same longing that her own do. "Good night Emma."

* * *

An hour passes and Emma still can't sleep. She gets out of bed, walks down the hall to the bathroom. Splashes water on her face. Walks back down the hall to her room. Back to Henry's door. Paces in front of it.

The sound of a door opening startles Emma. "I'm sorry," she says immediately upon seeing Regina standing in the hallway. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't."

They stare at each other for a minute. "Would you like a cup of tea?" Regina asks.

"Yeah."

They settle onto the couch together, grasping steaming mugs. The closeness soothes, calms.

"What was that telenovela we were watching the other night called?" Emma asks.

"_La Reina del Sur_."

"Yeah that one. Do you think there's an episode on now?"

Regina smiles at Emma. "I happen to have it on my DVR."

"You've been holding out on me." Emma picks up the remote control and wastes no time in beginning the program.

When the episode finishes, Emma and Regina are sleeping side by side.


	6. Chapter 6

"He's doing better, right?" Emma asks Regina one night a couple of weeks after Henry's birthday. "We aren't just getting used to this?"

Regina takes a sip of her cider thoughtfully. "He's made it two days straight in his own bed the whole night." The intonation is uncertain as though asking Emma whether that is indeed progress, whether it means that Henry will be ok.

"Yeah, he seems better I think. I mean, he let you go to your office for a half hour today." Emma is desperate for Henry to prove somehow that he can be ok again.

"Mmhmm." Regina agrees with a little smile, because Emma looks so sad at the memory of how anxious Henry had been during that half hour. How he had nearly been in tears. How he had thrown himself into Regina's arms when she had arrived home. "We're doing everything we can."

"I know, but it isn't enough."

And though Regina feels that way too half of the time, she refuses to lose faith in Henry. "We don't know that."

Emma still feels guilty when she doesn't have the hope that Regina has. "I just don't want him to turn out like me." She takes a drink of her cider, finishing off the glass.

"There are worse fates." Regina's smile is teasing, playful.

"I thought that I could always count on you not to buy the hype."

"What hype, dear?"

"All that savior stuff. Everyone thinks I'm this perfect fairytale character, but you always knew the truth."

"What truth is that?"

Emma shrugs and replies lightly, as though she doesn't hate herself for these things: "That I'm a screw up with abandonment issues who can't stay in one place long enough to be any good to anybody."

"You've been here for quite a while now."

"I'm trying." Emma fiddles with the empty glass in her hands, staring down at it for a moment before looking up at Regina.

"I know." Regina refills Emma's glass, and then, sensing Emma's doubts says definitively, "You're still here. Even though Henry is hurting and things are difficult, you stayed. It doesn't make a difference if you're scared or want to run, what matters to Henry is that you're here."

To hear it out loud, to know that Regina knows that Emma has wanted to run, is an incredible relief. Someone knows the dark secret that Emma has been keeping, and it doesn't matter.

"If Henry comes through this like you," Regina begins, and the earnestness in her voice draws Emma's eyes upward to meet Regina's. "Then I think we should be quite thankful."

Emma stares back dumbfounded. Maybe she is getting her life together. Maybe she is doing better for her son, but she cannot imagine anyone being thankful for their child to turn out like her. Her own parents wish she were different, she sees it in their eyes. But Regina means this. That Emma can see clearly.

"To live through what you have and still be good, Emma, well that is rather remarkable." There is an openness in Regina's face as she says it, an openness that reminds Emma of that day in the mines.

Regina seems to understand, as she looks at Emma with kind eyes and a small, warm smile, how much Emma needs to hear that she is good and worthy.

Emma feels her throat tightening with emotion, and she knows that she will be unable to get any words out. She nods and smiles her thanks and hopes that Regina understands that the lack of words isn't from lack of gratitude.

Emma takes a large sip of her cider wondering how much she will need to drink to wrap her mind around the fact that someone sees her, really sees her, and still believes that she is good.

* * *

They're standing in the kitchen the next evening – drinks together after Henry is in bed have become a nightly routine – when Emma says it. It comes out awkwardly, of course, because Emma can hardly remember a time in her life when she didn't feel at least a little bit awkward.

"You're good too, you know."

"Excuse me?"

"Last night, you told me that I was still good even after the crappy childhood that I had." Emma pauses, gathers herself. She hasn't been able to stop thinking about what Regina had said all day. "That meant a lot to me, and I wanted to make sure that you know that you are a good person too."

Regina is so surprised that she stares blankly back at Emma.

"I don't know what happened to you Regina."

"Have you checked Henry's book?"

"I figure that if you want me to know then you can tell me. I sure as hell wouldn't want someone to read everything about me from a book. Besides, it seems a little one sided to me."

Regina hums her agreement. And then, because she has no idea what to do with this conversation, asks, "Shall we go watch _American Horror Story _now?" Regina picks up her wine glass and begins to walk away from Emma.

"Wait," Emma says, grabbing Regina's arm.

Regina turns and their bodies are so close to each other. The air feels charged and Emma almost expects to see flashes of magic between them.

"I just want you to know that I know that you made it through all the crap in your life and became a good person anyway."

Regina stares into Emma's eyes. The sincerity takes her breath away. It takes a minute for Regina to regain her composure enough to talk. "Your mother might beg to differ."

Emma lets go of Regina's arm, but Regina doesn't move away. "When we were in the mine together," Emma begins. They have never really spoken of that day before. "You told me that everyone saw you as the Evil Queen, but I don't. I've only ever known Regina."

Regina is breathing heavily, overcome by being called good. Henry had called her a hero in the mine that day. And now Emma is calling her good.

"The Regina who tried to run you out of town, frame your mother for murder, and kill you?"

"Yeah," Emma replies. But she's smiling and Regina truly doesn't know what to make of this. Emma thinks of the gift that Regina had given her the night before. She thinks of how Regina understood Emma's need to be told that she was good. "And the Regina who was willing to die for Henry and who is the only one that can make him feel better after a nightmare. And who gives me wine and cookies every evening and makes me believe that things can alright."

Regina is overcome by the desire to kiss Emma. Regina had appreciated how attractive Emma was from the first night they had met, and now, here Emma is saying the most unbelievably wonderful things.

Regina takes a step back.

She gathers herself, picks up her wine and a plate of homemade lemon bars. "Thank you Emma." She turns and walks towards the living room. Emma follows.

* * *

There's no alcohol in their systems when it happens.

Regina and Emma find themselves on the couch watching _American Horror Story_ again the next night after a good day with Henry. A session with Archie. A trip to _Granny's_. And a night of the three of them playing video games together. When Emma and Regina had tucked Henry in, he had been smiling.

The mothers celebrate with chocolate chip cookies and ice cream.

Emma lets out a loud shriek at a startling scene in the TV show, and the reaction has both Emma and Regina laughing hysterically. Perhaps it's the relief of a good day, but they laugh so hard that tears are rolling down their cheeks.

"Really Emma," Regina gasps between fits of laughter, "you've fought ogres and dragons and evil queens, and you're frightened of a television show?"

"Oh come on, Regina," Emma says once the laughter subsides. Her stomach aches from laughing so hard. "That scene was pretty scary. Admit it."

"I don't scare easily."

"Yeah, whatever. I saw you closing your eyes before."

Emma glances back at the screen and shrieks once again at the startling image on the screen.

Regina chuckles. "It's alright dear. I'll keep you safe." She does it without thinking. Regina wraps an arm around Emma. The closeness and the laughter and the happiness of the day seems to have made her forget everything about who she is and who Emma is and how touching isn't part of their relationship.

Regina's arm around her is a surprise. Emma looks at Regina, who seems equally surprised to find her arm wrapped around Emma. Their bodies are pressed together, Regina's face so near to Emma's, and Emma feels closer to Regina than she has felt to anyone in so long.

Emma leans in and presses her lips to Regina's. For a second Emma's mind screams that she shouldn't be doing this, that she doesn't know if Regina is interested, that this is insane. But then, Regina is kissing her back. Softly and tenderly. Regina wraps her arm around Emma and holds her - just holds her - and Emma can hardly remember ever feeling so wanted.

They pull away and stare at each other for a few long seconds, taking stock of each other's reaction, making sure that they didn't imagine the desire.

Regina's mouth is pressed back against Emma's a moment later. Regina's hands move on Emma's back, caressing impossibly softly. In all the times that Emma has imagined this happening – and if she's honest with herself she's been imagining what sex with Regina would be like since the early days that they had known each other – she had always imagined passion and power and unbelievable hotness. But Emma had never imagined tenderness. She had never imagined the way Regina's thumb is caressing her neck. Or how her lips feel so soft.

It makes Emma respond in kind – with touches full of care. When Regina moans into Emma's mouth, Emma knows that the desire building inside her is so much more complicated than any of the unemotional encounters that she has allowed herself in the years since she had completely lost faith in childish notions like love.

"Are we going to ruin everything if we do this?" Emma asks.

"I don't know. If anyone could, it would be us."

Emma laughs softly. "Probably. But I still want to."

The inches between herself and Emma feel like too much to Regina. She feels her body burning with the desire to touch Emma. "Me too."

Emma exhales. "Ok." She's pretty sure that she's grinning nervously like a fool.

Regina kisses Emma again - more urgently this time – before pulling back with a smile. Regina takes Emma's hand, their fingers interlocking as they had on the nights that Emma and Regina had sought comfort from each other in chaste touches. Regina stands - pulling Emma to her feet as well - and leads them hand in hand up the stairs and to her bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

"If I'd known that we would have been so good at this I would have jumped you a long time ago," Emma quips from where she has collapsed on top of Regina.

Regina's chest rumbles with a chuckle. "Are you saying that you thought I would be bad in bed?"

"No. I just…that was _so_ good." The orgasms were pretty great, but Emma knows it had been more than that.

Emma feels anxiety floating at the corners of her mind. She thinks that she would be panicking if she weren't so completely exhausted and satisfied. And if Regina's fingers weren't currently massaging her scalp.

Emma's eyes slip closed. Regina's fingers run through her hair, trace patterns absentmindedly on her neck. Emma should get up and go to her room. She shouldn't be wrapping her arms around Regina's waist. She shouldn't be nuzzling against Regina's breast.

Regina reaches over to turn off the bedside lamp. "Good night, Emma."

Regina's arms wrap loosely around Emma's back.

"Good night."

Emma's anxiety only increases with the lights out and nothing to distract her from the thoughts of how quickly and completely she and Regina could ruin what they have built for Henry since returning from Neverland. She thinks of what could happen if they wake up and realize that they don't want this. She thinks of hurting Henry. She thinks of being alone again.

"I can feel you panicking."

"You aren't?"

Regina shrugs. She doesn't want to admit that she feels the most peaceful she can ever remember being or that with Emma's arms and legs intertwined with her own she feels like she could sleep more deeply than she has in years. "Do you want a round four? I could tire you out so that you can't think anymore."

"You really do think quite highly of your skills, don't you?"

"I'm just trying to help dear."

"Then by all means, give it your best shot."

"I don't want to trouble you," Regina deadpans.

Emma rolls her eyes in the darkness. She pulls Regina on top of her, their bodies flush against each other once more.

* * *

"Shit, Regina, wake up."

"Mmm, what?" Regina asks half asleep.

"Henry's knocking at the door."

That wakes Regina up. She jumps out of bed, wraps her robe around her naked body, and runs to the door.

Regina finds Henry standing in the hall sobbing hysterically. She bends down and gathers Henry up in her arms. "Shh, shh, it's ok," she soothes as she rubs circles on his back. "It was just a dream, and you're safe and home now. Just a bad dream."

Henry cries harder, sobbing and sobbing until he's coughing and choking. "Henry, baby, take a deep breath."

Emma had hidden out in Regina's room, but the sound Henry crying is too much. Any thoughts of keeping the fact that she was in Regina's bed a secret fly out the window when she hears her kid sobbing desperately in the hallway.

Emma opens the door to find Henry in Regina's arms, his whole face red from crying. She had hoped that nights this bad were passed them. He had gone five days without waking Emma and Regina during the night.

"Henry, listen to your mom. Take a breath." Emma kneels down. "Breathing's really important."

Regina slows the pace at which she is drawing circles on Henry's back. "Shhhhh, shhhhh," she whispers slowly, as calmingly as possible. "Shhhhhhh, shhhhhhh, that's it. Take another deep breath for us. Good. That's good."

Henry lets out small shuddering breaths against Regina's neck. Her skin is wet with his tears.

Emma leans in and kisses Henry's hair. "You're ok kid," she tells him. "Do you want to lie down wit us?" Henry nods. "Ok, good." Emma gives Henry's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Regina moves to stand, but Henry clings to her, so she lifts him into her arms and carries him to her bed.

"Here we are." Regina lays Henry down in the middle of the bed and cuddles him against her chest.

Emma wastes no time getting into bed next to Henry. She wraps her arm around him. "I love you Henry." The words have become easier to say, less terrifying everyday.

"We both love you," Regina adds. "And we are not going anywhere."

Henry lets out a deep, shuddering breath. He's stopped crying, but hasn't said a word, hasn't looked at his mothers.

Archie told Regina and Emma to ask about the dreams, to encourage Henry to talk. But they can't make him do it tonight. They let him drift off to sleep in their arms.

* * *

"Good morning, sweetheart," Regina whispers when Henry's eyes flutter open the next morning.

"Hi Mom."

Emma is still asleep with her arm draped over Henry lightly. Her soft snores fill the room.

"How did you sleep?" Regina asks.

"No more nightmares."

"I'm glad," Regina tells Henry as she brushes the hair from his forehead. Her heart aches. She stares at him for a long moment, looking at the haunted eyes; so different from the way she remembers those beautiful eyes.

Henry breaks the silence. "Emma snores loudly huh?"

"Yes, she sure does. I guess that's where you get it from." Regina has denied him this in the past, this connection to his biological mother. But she knows that he has longed for it, knows that his desire to find Emma was about more than just the curse.

"You and Emma are getting along really well."

"We are. I didn't give her a fair chance before, and now that I'm getting to know her, I've realized that I like her a lot."

"That's awesome. I like that it's the three of us now."

"I know you do."

"You've really changed."

Regina almost says _I'm trying_, because she is trying and sometimes it's a struggle and she doesn't know if she can do it. But her son needs more than that now. He needs her to be strong for him, not the other way around. And the fact that Regina wonders whether she is capable of change is not something that she needs to share with her son. "Yes, Henry, I have."

"I keep dreaming that I lose you because you become the Evil Queen again. But you won't do that, right Mommy? You aren't going to leave me, right?"

Regina feels sick at hearing her son's nightmares about her. "I am never going to leave you. I love you so much."

She had thought that she wasn't the mother that he wanted or needed, that it didn't matter if she was evil, because Henry wanted Emma. But she had been wrong. He needs her so much, and she isn't going to do anything that will take her away from her son.

* * *

"Mom's out cold," Henry tells Emma. They are all sitting on the couch together watching a _The Avengers_.

"Yeah, she was tired."

"I think she stayed awake all last night. Every time I got up, she was already awake."

Henry looks worried and guilty, so Emma reaches out and gives his hand a squeeze. "She just wants to take care of you. We both do."

"I know, but I know that I've made both your lives harder since you rescued me."

"Henry, no!"

"It's not really fair to either of you, but _you_ didn't even want a kid –"

"That isn't true!"

"You don't have to lie. You gave me away."

They're here, at this moment that Emma knew was coming since Hook told her how Peter Pan tortures his victims. She knew that Henry would fear her abandoning him again, would have dreamed that she never wanted him at all.

"I wanted to keep you so badly. I loved you so much. You know, I read to you every day because one of those parenting books said it helps your kid's brain develop. But Henry, I was in jail."

"You didn't look for me when you got out."

"I knew you'd been adopted. My life was a mess then, and being with your mom was better for you. But I loved you and I wished that I could have raised you." Emma's voice breaks. She's crying now. She worked so hard to forget the son she gave away, but she had still loved him so, so much.

Henry looks scared and doubtful. He stares at Emma with so much longing, so much need to know that she loves him. It hurts Emma to see the same skepticism in his eyes that she feels anytime that someone claims to care for her.

"Come here, kid." Emma opens her arms to Henry, and wraps him up in a tight hug. He clings to her like she will run at any minute. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"Ok," he says tentatively, and Emma wonders how she will ever make him believe in her. "Are we all going to keep living together?"

Emma's fears from last night come rushing back. What happens if she and Regina ruin everything, and Emma has to leave? "I'm going to be here as long as you need me."

"What happens when I feel better?" Henry asks. Emma sees his panic and knows that she's said the wrong thing.

"I'm always going to be in your life. I just meant that I'm not sure where I'll be living. But you don't have to worry about that. You have your mom and me forever." The responsibility feels overwhelming. Promising not to leave even if things go to hell.

"You know," Henry says pulling back and smiling at Emma. "My mom really likes having you here." His grin is fully of mischief and intelligence, and for the moment he looks like the kid Emma first met.

"Did she tell you that?"

"She told me that she likes you a lot." Emma tries to control the surprise on her face that Regina would tell Henry that. "And I can tell that she likes you being here."

Emma wants to ask how he knows that. She wants to know that she isn't crazy for feeling like whatever is happening with Regina is not just comfort sex. But she just smiles at Henry and asks, "Do you want to sleep with your mom and me tonight?"

"No, it's ok."

"We don't mind. Slumber parties with you are fun."

"Thanks, but Archie said that it's good for me to try to sleep in my own bed."

"Ok kid. You want to go put your pajamas on while I wake your mom? We'll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in."

* * *

"I need a drink," Emma says when she closes the door to Henry's bedroom.

"What's wrong?"

"While you were sleeping on the couch, Henry told me that he's afraid I'm going to abandon him again."

Regina reaches out to give Emma's arm a squeeze, and Emma wonders if her body will always feel like it's on fire when Regina touches her. "You didn't abandon him."

"Tell that to Henry. I knew that was what he feared most, and Pan showed it to him for days."

"Come on, dear. Let's have some cider and talk."

Minutes later, Emma is curled up on the couch, her knees pressed to her chest and her hands clutching a glass of cider tightly.

"It's good that he's talking about the dreams," Regina says as she stares into her own glass. She just wishes so badly that the dreams weren't about the awful things that she's done.

"Yeah," Emma agrees, but she can't feel anything but devastated now that she knows for certain what his dreams are about.

For a moment they are lost in their own regrets.

"We can't change the things that we've done," Regina says. "I can't change that my son will always see me as the evil queen." She shakes her head sadly; more than anything else she regrets how much she has hurt Henry. "We are just going to have to prove to him that we love him and that he doesn't need to be afraid."

"I just wish that things were different."

"Me too."

Regina reaches over and unfurls one of Emma's hands from around the tumbler of cider so that she can weave their fingers together.

Emma has never known a touch to have this affect on her before. She has never had someone hold her hand and make her feel like she wasn't alone.

And then because Emma has never been able to trust anything good in her life, she asks, "What are we doing?"

"We are taking care of Henry."

"No, that's what we _were _doing before last night."

"Do you regret that it happened?" Regina asks, dropping Emma's hand and pulling away.

"No, Regina," Emma says a little desperately. The feeling of Regina pulling away fills her with terror. "I don't regret last night." Emma reaches out, relieved when Regina lets Emma touch her. "I just…I don't understand how you aren't freaking out at all."

Regina shrugs, and then looks down and gathers her strength before speaking. "When you broke the curse," Regina begins, her voice tightly controlled, "my whole life fell apart. The person I was for years was ripped away from me. Everything I had was gone, and I didn't know-" she stops as her throat begins to feel tight. "This is the first time I've felt good since then."

Emma's heart starts beating faster. "You mean, being with me?" she asks incredulously.

"With you and Henry. I think that I'm finally happy, and I don't know how to let go of that."

Emma looks at Regina with wet eyes and a smile. "I'm happy too."

"I'm glad. I want you to be happy." It has been a long time since Regina has cared about anyone's happiness besides Henry's.

Emma sets her drink on the table before she pulls Regina against her for a kiss. When their lips touch, Emma realizes that she doesn't know how to let go of this either.


	8. Chapter 8

Emma hasn't been this vigilant since she was in foster care. These days she has learned to never let her guard down once more. Even if Henry is having a good day or a good week, Emma knows that things can change at any moment.

Today is a good day so far. Henry woke up happy after a night without bad dreams and requested a trip to _Granny's_ for breakfast. Emma is trying her hardest to simply enjoy it the meal without bracing for disaster.

Regina reaches across their tableto steal a piece of Emma's bacon. Emma wonders when exactly they became close enough to share food, but apparently Regina has decided that they've reached that milestone.

Emma wants to glare, but it's hard as she watches Regina enjoying her bacon and Henry sitting next to her drowning his waffle in syrup.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Regina asks after finishing the slice of Emma's bacon.

"I always imagined you to be a health food nut."

"You've been living with me for nearly two months. Are you only now realizing that I like bacon?"

"No, it just still surprises me I guess."

"And why is that dear?"

Emma nearly chokes on her coffee. The answer should be obvious. Regina Mills is a perfectionist and a control freak. The mayor with her routines and her spotless house and perfect garden. And her perfect body.

Emma decides that the last reason is the safest. She raises an eyebrow and gives Regina a once over.

"I enjoy exercising," Regina says, apparently oblivious to the other reasons that Emma thinks she would keep tight rein on everything that she eats. Regina chews a bite of her pancake with particular relish before asking, "I trust that you remember the cuisine in the Enchanted Forest."

"I'm trying to forget."

Regina nods her agreement. "Food is certainly one thing that this land does right."

Emma has to agree there. A month in the Enchanted Forest has made her rather grateful for omelet she is currently enjoying.

Snow walks into the diner and immediately spots her daughter and grandson. She waves happily at Emma who is facing the door and strides over to the table. "Good morning."

Snow 's voice is bright and cheerful. Despite that fact – or perhaps because of it – Regina feels Henry's body stiffen besides her. He still hates to talk to anyone besides Regina and Emma, and though they've made _Granny's_ and the ice cream shop regular trips to get him used to other people, he still struggles with long conversations. Regina rests her hand on Henry's knee beneath the table.

"Can I sit down?" Snow asks.

Emma glances at Henry who gives a small nod. "Sure," Emma says, and Snow wastes no time sliding into the booth next to her daughter.

"How are you Henry?" Snow asks.

"Good," he whispers, suddenly fascinated by the empty syrup container on the table.

Emma tries to deflect the focus off Henry by asking, "What are you up to today?"

"I'm going over to the school," Snow informs Emma. "We're starting to decorate for the school year. Can you believe how quickly the summer if flying by?"

Emma knows that Snow is just making friendly conversation, but to Emma the summer has passed largely as a series of agonizing moments watching her son suffer and struggle. The only bright light in the last month has been whatever the hell is happening with Regina.

"Are you excited for seventh grade Henry?"

Regina slams her mug down loudly on the table, and Snow finally seems to gain some awareness of what's going on around her. "Right, sorry. I'll just go pick up a coffee and be on my way. Emma, I'll call you later. Maybe we can get lunch sometime this week."

"Sure," Emma says with a weak smile. These days she hardly has energy for any social interactions herself. Especially not relationships with her parents, because even though Emma knows that Snow and David love her, it still takes so much energy to figure out how to be their daughter.

"Enjoy your breakfast," Snow says. "Bye Henry. Regina."

Once Snow leaves, the booth's occupants all relax, letting out a tense breath. Regina gives Henry's knee a gentle squeeze. "Are you ok?"

"Can we go home?"

"Henry," Regina sighs. "You're safe. You don't need to talk to anyone else. Let's finish our breakfast and then we can all relax at home for a while."

"Yeah kid," Emma jumps in. "You know your mom will be happy to scare away anyone who comes over here."

"I just want to go home," Henry whines.

Regina and Emma's eyes meet over the table, and they both know that they are going to give in sooner or later. They decide on sooner.

"Ok," Regina says with a soothing smile. "Why don't you and Emma go wait in the car? I'll pay and meet you in a minute."

"It's my turn to pay," Emma says reaching into her pocket for her wallet.

"You can get it next time," Regina says, "I'll be certain to pick somewhere nice."

Emma rolls her eyes and wraps her arm around Henry's shoulder. "Come on," she tells him.

* * *

Emma has never been much of a homebody. She likes keeping busy, and rarely has she ever spent this much time at home before. But Henry needs this, she knows, this feeling of being safely back in the house where he grew up.

"Do you want to help me garden?" Regina asks Henry. It's too nice of a day to be inside. Henry just shrugs. "What's bothering you?" Regina asks, crouching down to Henry's eye level. "Are you worried about school starting next month?"

Henry is tearful immediately, and it still takes Regina by surprise to see him react like this way. He had been a happy child, unfazed by most things and easily soothed by being held in his mother's arms.

"Let's sit down with Emma and talk," Regina suggests, standing and placing a hand on Henry's back to guide him to the sofa.

Regina waits until Henry is situated between herself and Emma to tell him, "Henry, if you don't feel ready to go to school in September you don't have to."

"Really?" Henry looks at Regina confused and hopeful.

"Emma and I won't push you to do anything you aren't ready for."

"But I want to be ready!" Henry says sounding extremely frustrated.

"I know you do," Regina tells him, patting his leg reassuringly. "You're doing so well Henry. Emma and I are very proud of you."

"We really are," Emma chimes in.

Regina rests her hand on Henry's shoulder and continues, "All that I'm saying Henry is that you don't need to worry about school right now. If you don't want to go at the beginning of the year, we will make sure that you keep up with all your work so that as soon as you are ready you can go back and you won't be behind."

"Ok, I guess."

Henry looks sad and defeated, and Emma wants to cry. "It'll be alright kid. Your mom is right. It's the beginning of August. No reason to start thinking about school so soon. It's still summer."

"Yeah," Henry agrees sadly.

"So, summer activities for today then," Emma declares, trying her hardest to remain upbeat. She makes it her mission these days to all fun to their lives. "Water gun fight? Soccer?"

"I think I just want to sit here and read some comics. Is that ok?" Henry looks up at Emma, not wanting to disappoint her.

"Of course, Henry." Emma smiles at her son, trying not to let her sadness show. The morning had begun so well.

* * *

Emma pulls Henry's door shut behind her. He is finally asleep after she and Regina spent two hours reading to him to try to get him to bed.

Regina looks at Emma and sees an expression that matches the sorrow that Regina herself feels. Regina reaches out for Emma's hand and gives it a comforting squeeze.

"I just want to sleep tonight," Emma declares as she scrubs her free hand over her face. She's bone tired tonight. Weary and so sad at how day that began with Henry giggling ended with a boy scared to go to bed.

"No problem dear," Regina says not letting go of Emma's hand. She adds with a little smirk, "I think that I can manage to keep my hands to myself for a night."

Emma looks confused, because every night for the last month they have gone to bed together, had amazing sex, and used exhaustion as an excuse to remain in the same bed. But going to sleep together without the sex is uncharted territory.

Emma perches herself on the edge of the bed as Regina disappears into her walk in closet. "What are we going to do?" Emma asks, desperation creeping in. She needs Regina to tell her that it will be ok, that they will fix Henry.

"About what?" Regina asks a minute later when she emerges in a pair of silk pajamas.

Emma just stares at Regina like this should be completely obvious. "We're going to home school Henry now?" Emma asks. So many things are wrong that she doesn't know where to begin, but the fact that they are acknowledging that Henry is so damaged that he might not be able to even go to school feels like the biggest defeat of the day.

Regina sits down besides Emma. "If we need to, yes. Did you want to force Henry to go to school if he's terrified?"

"No, of course not. I just…I don't know, maybe he needs a push to get back into the swing of things."

Regina stiffens next to Emma. "I will not let my son feel unsafe again."

"Hey," Emma says, grasping Regina's forearm. "I didn't mean to say that you're doing the wrong thing. I'm just afraid that if we coddle Henry that he'll never get back to a normal life. But you're right, I don't want to make him do something he isn't ready for either."

Regina considers this for a minute. She questions constantly whether she is doing the right thing for Henry. "Thank you, Emma."

"For what."

"For not pushing on this. I don't think I could bring myself to force Henry to go to school."

"Yeah, me either. I'm kind of a pushover it turns out."

"I want Henry to feel safe," Regina says, and Emma wonders at the nervous expression on her face. "It's something that I never felt as a child, and I have tried my best to make sure that Henry always does."

"Yeah," Emma sighs in agreement; the first time she had felt safe was as an adult living on her own. Then, because Emma needs not to linger in her memories of the past, she adds, "I hope you're good at middle school math. Because I suck at it."

"We'll manage. And perhaps it won't be necessary. There's still another month until school starts, and Henry has made such progress already."

Regina turns to Emma with so much desperate hope in her eyes that it makes Emma want to believe just so that she can comfort Regina. But Emma doesn't believe. Right now all she can think of is the worst that could happen. She nods and tries her hardest to smile reassuringly. "Come on, let's go to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day."

Emma takes off her jeans and throws them and her bra in a pile next to the bed, a little surprised when Regina doesn't say a word about the mess. Regina shuts off the lights and pulls the blankets back. She slips wordlessly into bed besides Emma and curls her body around Emma's back. Emma can't remember the last time that she has let someone spoon her – maybe it was Neal, but she isn't even certain she had allowed it then. Emma's body tenses a little at the newness of the contact as Regina slips an arm under Emma's neck to hug her more fully.

"Is this alright?" Regina asks when she feels Emma stiffen.

"Mmhmm," Emma agrees, allowing herself to relax into the embrace.

Regina presses a soft kiss to the back of Emma's neck. There have been gentle, lazy kisses before, but they have always been post-coital when the excuse of an orgasm-induced high had been present to deflect the real meaning of such kisses. But there is no denying that the way Regina's lips linger on Emma's skin now is about affection and tenderness.

"Good night Regina," Emma says, trying not to worry about what this means for their relationship. Emma closes her eyes and lets the feeling of being safe and cared for wash over her.

"Good night dear," Regina replies as she nuzzles her face against Emma's neck with a content sigh.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: A lot of this chapter is in Henry's POV, which is something that I have never really written before. I would love your feedback on what worked and what didn't. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

Henry walks down the stairs into the kitchen. He woke up late this morning, and so he is certain that his mom is already awake. He spots her sitting on the bench swing in the back yard, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a book in her hand. It's a scene he knows well from when he was small. He would wake up and join her in that exact spot, sitting on her lap, the blanket wrapped around both their bodies, and insist that she tell him a story.

It hurts how much he misses those simple days.

"Morning Mom," Henry says walking out onto the deck.

Regina smiles at him, and Henry thinks that he sees less sadness in her eyes than he remembers from before Neverland.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

Regina sets her book down as Henry sits besides her. He presses his body against hers, and Regina wraps her arm around him, enclosing them both in the fuzzy blanket.

Henry closes his eyes and tries to soak up the warmth of his mother's body next to his. He feels so cold still, feels the darkness he had felt in Neverland pushing in on him.

"How did you sleep?" Regina asks. Her voice is soft and her body vibrates against Henry's. She sounds and feels exactly the same as she did when he was small enough to cuddle in her lap. Henry can't quite wrap his mind around how everything is so different and yet Regina still feels like the mother he always knew.

"Ok. I had a nightmare, but I went right back to sleep." Henry had been proud of himself for being able to swallow back the fear and return to sleep without waking his mothers.

Regina kisses the crown of Henry's head. "I'm proud of you." She runs her hand up and down Henry's arm and the feeling is so soothing that Henry thinks he must be imaging this.

"I love you Henry."

"I love you too," Henry says, and he is overcome with guilt for all the times he didn't say it back.

Henry feels the need for Regina to know that he knows she loves him and that he loves her as much as he always has. "When Peter Pan first caught me, he tried to convince me that you wouldn't come looking for me. But I knew it wasn't true. I knew you would never stop looking for me."

"Never baby. Emma and I wouldn't have stopped until we found you." Henry hears his mom sniffle. He keeps his eyes shut tightly. "You are the most important thing in the world to me Henry."

"I know Mom." He wonders how he got so lost, how they got so lost, so far from how they are now.

"Good." Regina is quiet for a moment, simply holding Henry tightly. And then he hears her speak tentatively, "Henry, can we talk about what Peter Pan showed you that _did_ scare you?"

"I guess."

"Henry," Regina says, moving back just enough to look at Henry while she keeps her arms around him. Henry opens his eyes and looks at Regina. "I promise that you can tell me anything, and it will never change how much I love you." She looks at him so desperately, like she is pleading for him to let her help him, to try to make it better. Regina looks so unsure of herself, and that is something that Henry is unfamiliar with in his mother.

"You told me that you are afraid that I'm going to become the Evil Queen again," Regina presses on when Henry doesn't say anything. Her voice is gentle still, inviting Henry to be honest with her.

"No," Henry says, shaking his head vehemently. He can't hurt her like this again. Not when she has been taking care of him every minute since she and Emma found him. Not when she feels like his whole world right now. "I don't think that."

"It's ok," Regina tells him. "I understand why you would be afraid of that."

Henry can't bring himself to say anything, but he is relieved when Regina continues trying to allay his fears.

"I want you to know that I am never going to be that person again. I won't do that to you." Regina is staring Henry straight in the eyes. He nods, finding that he believes her. "I know that I've done terrible things. I want you to understand that I was hurt very badly, and I don't say that to excuse what I did. Because you were right, there is no excusing it. But I want you to understand that who I was then is not who I am now. I would change so many things if I could Henry." Her voice sounds so very sad. "I wish I could go back and never have hurt you. I want that more than I can explain. And while I can't change the past, I will never stop trying to make up for the things I've done to you and to the people that you love."

Henry has never heard his mother explain herself before. She had lied to him for so long, had begged him to trust her, had told him that she was trying. But this feels different. Henry feels for the first time like his mother trusts him to judge her, to understand her. It feels like a lot of responsibility.

"You were willing to die for me," Henry says. The realization on the day the trigger had been activated that Regina was willing to die to save his family – people whom she hated – had made Henry reconsider everything he had begun to believe about his mother.

"Of course, I'm your mother."

The words are so honest and simple that Henry can no longer deny that Regina loves him with her whole heart. He knows that whoever she was, the most important thing in her life now is him. He feels tears spring to his eyes.

"You almost died." Henry wraps his arms around Regina's waist tightly and buries his face in her chest. "Mommy."

"Hey, hey, it's alright," Regina soothes. "It's ok. I'm right here."

"I didn't want you to try to save everyone," Henry says feeling guilty and selfish. "I didn't want to lose you."

Henry is crying hard now, and Regina coaxes gently, "Look at me." He looks up, not letting go of her waist. "You didn't lose me, and you aren't going to. I'm alive and well Henry. And I am going to be the mother that you deserve." Regina smiles at Henry, and he can tell that she doesn't entirely believe the last part, that she still doubts if she is worthy of him. But Henry wants no one else now. She's his mom. And she was willing to die to make him happy.

"The thing that Peter Pan showed me that I can't stop seeing is you dying." The words are out there now, and Henry isn't sure why he had been so reluctant to say them. In this moment he feels like he wants to share them as proof for his mom of the fact that he still loves her. "I kept seeing the trigger going off, and I was just left there holding onto you. I kept trying to bring you back, but I couldn't."

"It wasn't real. I'm right here. No one died. Your family is all ok."

"I was so scared."

"I'm sorry Henry." He can feel his mom's tears dripping onto his skin.

"It's ok. You're right Mom. It's going to be ok now." He half says it and half asks it, needing to hear her confirm it one more time.

"Yes it will baby. I love you."

* * *

Regina finally gets a minute alone with Emma when Henry is in his room changing for the beach. Regina grabs Emma's arm and pulls her outside to talk.

"We need to tell Henry."

It takes Emma a minute to even realize what Regina is saying. "What? Why?" Emma wonders if this is Regina's clever way of breaking up. But then Emma reasons that Regina has never shied away from confrontation before, why would she start now?

"Because Henry is finally beginning to trust me again, and I will not jeopardize that."

"I don't…" Emma sits down on the bench swing. She wishes she had some time to prepare before Regina bombarded her with this. "Things have been good," Emma mutters.

"Yes they have," Regina agrees, sitting next to Emma.

Emma feels her anxiety that Regina is about to leave her lessen. Nervously, Emma suggests, "So maybe we should just keep things how they are."

Regina shakes her head and tells Emma in a tone that leaves no room for argument, "Henry needs parents that he can trust, and if we keep our relationship from him then he is going to lose that."

Emma bends over and puts her face in her hands. She knows that Regina is right, and that it will blow up in their faces if they keep this from Henry. She feels like a bad mother both for not insisting on telling him the truth sooner and for how much she hates the idea of telling him now.

Emma picks her face up out of her hands, but can't bring herself to look at Regina when she asks, "But what if…well, um… what if things don't work out?"

Regina almost laughs at how Emma is tiptoeing around the question, as if Regina would be offended that Emma isn't convinced that this is true love and that they will be together forever. But Regina thinks better of laughing when she sees the stricken expression on Emma's face.

"Emma," Regina begins in a soft but certain tone, "I am not asking for anything to change between us. I require no more commitment now than I did yesterday."

"But Henry –"

"Henry is a mature boy. Despite everything that he has been through, he is rather remarkable for a 12 year old." A sad but determined expression washes over Regina's face as she continues, "I won't lie to him anymore."

"And you really think that Henry will be ok if we tell him that we're…what, dating?"

"To be fair, I don't believe you can call it dating until there is an actual date."

"Oh, right then." Emma wonders if dating implies more commitment than Regina wants. Emma feels even more uncertain and self-conscious until Regina puts her out of her misery.

"I wouldn't be opposed to letting you take me on a date once Henry is ok with us being away from him for an evening." Regina smiles tentatively at Emma, whose face breaks out in a grin before the blonde can control her reaction. "I would be alright with the term dating if you are," Regina continues.

"Yeah, dating." Emma lets that sit for a minute. She tries to wrap her head around the idea that she is dating Regina Mills. "That sounds good." Emma is surprised by how she can feel the tension ebbing from her chest. Normally the idea of a relationship of any sort would only increase her anxiety. She wonders why this agreement comforts her instead.

Regina reaches out and takes Emma's hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It sounds good to me too, dear."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Thanks again for the wonderful response to this story! I really appreciate everyone's support._

_I want to respond quickly to an anon review that there isn't enough Henry and Emma time in the story. I know, and I'm sorry. I'll admit my bias here; while I love Emma, I just have a very soft spot in my heart for the Regina and Henry relationship . But this chapter has a fair amount of Emma and Henry issues in it. _

_Finally, I hope you all don't mind that this chapter is a little on the short side. I finished writing Regina and Emma's conversation with Henry and figured that it could stand alone enough to post it tonight. There will probably be a part two of sorts to this chapter later, but I'm always a fan of fast updates, so I figured I would publish what I have written now. Hope you enjoy._

* * *

"What could be taking him so long?" Regina asks as she paces back and forth in the kitchen.

"Do you really want me to answer that? He's a 12 year old boy."

"Stop talking right now."

"Seriously Regina, you need to calm down. Weren't you the one who insisted that telling Henry would be fine?"

Regina glares at Emma. "We need to tell him if we are going to be together," she affirms, but fails to mention anything about how she believes this disclosure might turn out.

"But you're afraid of how he's going to react?"

Emma sees Regina's eyes go glassy, and Emma realizes that she is going to have to be strong now, even if she is still panicking herself. "Come here."

Regina moves to stand next to where Emma is leaning against the kitchen counter. Emma places her hand on Regina's back. "Worst case scenario in your head: go."

"Henry doesn't want us to be together because you're good and I'm the Evil Queen."

"Well that's stupid," Emma says with a playful smile. "Henry loves you. He knows that you aren't evil. You must know that after this morning."

"What I know is that he is in pain, and he needs his mother to comfort him. I can tell you from experience that it is quite easy to ignore how awful your mother is in such a circumstance."

"You're nothing like her," Emma whispers softly.

Regina shakes her head and swallows the lump in her throat. She can't think about her mother right now.

Regina is grateful when Emma doesn't push, simply keeps her hand firmly on Regina's back.

"What is your worst case scenario?" Regina asks.

"Honestly? I think it's that Henry tells us he doesn't want to be together, and you ask me to leave." The silence and contemplative expression on Regina's face does nothing to ease Emma's fears. "Which, I get that you know, he's your kid and he comes first."

Regina is quiet for another moment as she realizes just how insecure Emma is in this relationship, how Emma is waiting for it to end any second. "First of all Emma, I think that you have more than proven that you are Henry's mother too." Regina marvels at how the thought of Henry being _their _son is no longer frightening. "And second, I believe that we need to make it clear to Henry that we are not asking for permission to be together. We _are _together, and we need to help Henry to deal with that. He needs to know that no matter what happens we will both be here for him."

Regina feels a little better. Saying this out loud makes her feel like she can take control of the situation and be who Henry and Emma need her to be.

Emma is looking at Regina with a surprised expression that breaks Regina's heart. Regina wraps her arm around Emma's waist, and they stand side by side preparing themselves until they hear footsteps on the stairs.

Emma and Regina move apart, and Henry walks into the room a minute later holding his beach bag. "Ready?"

Regina steps towards Henry and asks, "Can we talk to you first?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Henry." He clearly doesn't believe her. "I promise." Regina places a hand on Henry's back and guides him to the kitchen table.

Henry sits at the head of the table, Regina next to him. He's a bit surprised when Emma chooses to sit down next to Regina a minute later.

"Henry," Regina begins, as she reaches out and puts a hand on his forearm. "You know that Emma and I have been spending a lot of time together since you've been home. We've discovered that we actually enjoy each other's company quite a lot."

"That's cool," Henry says with a smile. "Does that mean that Emma is going to move in with us permanently?"

Regina barely has time to appreciate the fact that Henry apparently believes that his home is here with her, before she has to figure out how to do a better job of explaining exactly what she means.

"Emma and I have started to have feelings for each other."

Understanding washes over Henry's face, and Regina and Emma hold their breath. "Like you love each other?"

The word takes Regina by surprise, though she supposes she should have expected it from her son who believes in True Love and Happy Endings. "What Emma and I feel is still very new, but we care for each other and we want to continue finding out what that means."

"So you might break up?" Henry asks, his face transforming into an anxious frown.

Emma can't stand that expression on her son's face. "You're jumping the gun a bit there, kid."

"What's going to happen if you break up?"

Regina squeezes Henry's arm. "We aren't going to let anything change for you. Remember what I promised you this morning? I am going to be the mother that you need. I will never keep you from seeing Emma again. No matter what happens between Emma and me, we will both always love you."

Henry looks down. He wants to ask more, but he doesn't want to hurt his mothers.

"What is it?" Regina asks.

Henry feels like he is about to start crying. Every awful scenario runs through his head, every scenario in which he loses his mothers.

"Please," Emma begs, "Talk to us."

"I don't want you to go away," Henry whispers, looking up at Emma.

"Oh Henry no, I'm not going anywhere. Like your mom said, we're both going to be there for you no matter what happens between us."

"But when you get hurt you leave, and I don't want you to leave."

It breaks Emma's heart that Henry sees her like this, sees the truth of her flaws and her weakness. She is so used to him insisting that she is the Savior that she forgets that beneath all that Henry is a smart kid who is very good at reading people. A kid who had to beg and plead and scheme to get her to stay in Storybrooke for him.

Emma kneels down in front on Henry and rests her hands on his knees. "I promise you Henry, I'm not going anywhere."

The words rush from Henry's mouth. Even though he doesn't want to hurt Emma, the idea of her leaving him is devastating and he can't keep the fear inside anymore. "You've said that before. Before I ate the poisoned turnover, you were about to leave Storybrooke. You wanted to leave, and the only reason you stayed was because you thought my mom was evil and I needed you to protect me. But what happens now that you know Mom will take care of me? There's no reason that you'll have to stay."

"I'm staying because I love you," Emma's voice breaks. She's desperate to make him believe, but she doesn't know how. "I love you, and I want to help you through what happened to you."

"And when I don't need help anymore?"

Emma should be joyful that her son envisions a day when he has recovered from what he went through in Neverland, but her overwhelming sadness that he thinks she will leave overshadows everything else.

"I know that I left you as a baby and that I almost left again last year, but I really was trying to do what was best for you. I wanted to keep you so badly, but Henry, I was in jail. I couldn't raise a kid then, so I did what I thought was best for you – what I know now was best for you. When you showed up in Boston, I didn't want to see you because I knew I would love you and it would hurt too much to let you go again. And I was right. I love you so much kid, and now that I'm in your life I don't want to ever go anywhere again."

By the time Emma finishes talking she has tears streaming down her cheeks. Regina rests her hand on Emma's shoulder, squeezing gently. Emma reaches one hand up to place it on top of Regina's. She sobs softly at the comfort she finds in touching Regina's skin.

It's the first time Henry has seen his mothers touch like this. He sees a gentleness there that he has only seen either of them express towards him. Henry doesn't want to take that from them.

"So you two like really like each other."

Regina pries her eyes away from Emma and tells Henry, "Yes, we do."

"Ok," Henry says. He thinks that maybe his mothers can be happy. He knows that neither of them has really had that chance before.

Emma barely hears Henry over the doubts and self-recriminations floating in her head. When his words finally register, all Emma wants to do is hug her son. "Come here," she says, pulling Henry into her arms.

"I love you kid," Emma says, squeezing Henry so tightly she hopes that he's able to breathe. She can't bring herself to loosen her grip. Emma reaches blindly for Regina, desperate to have them both in her arms, uncertain why she feels so much like she is grasping at people who could slip from her life at any moment.

Regina is happy to oblige Emma's silent request. Regina sinks to her knees and wraps her arms around Emma and Henry. Their arms wrap immediately around her waist, pulling her into a hug. It feels ridiculously like being granted entry into what Regina had been certain was the family that her son would choose, the family that she believed he would happily reject her for.

They hold onto each other, Regina and Emma clutching their son just as tightly as he's clutching them.

"Why are we sitting on the floor?" Henry asks a few minutes later. His mothers both laugh tearful laughs. They pull back and smile at him.

"Are you ok?" Emma asks. "Have we traumatized you forever?"

"Nah, I've been through worse." For a second the mood darkens with the truth of the statement, until Henry says, "Geez, lighten up."

Regina smiles at her son, pushes his hair back from his face. She takes in the way his baby fat has begun to disappear, the way he looks more and more like a man every day. "You must have more questions for us," Regina insists, her hand still cupping his face.

Even though the anxiety is still stirring in Henry, he doesn't feel like continuing an intense conversation today. Right now, he just wants to be hopeful.

"Does this mean that I'm going to have to watch you kiss all the time?"

"Yeah, kid, it probably does." Emma tries to let the shift in mood overtake her. She will have to accept that Henry is still afraid that she is going to abandon him, and that is not something that she can take away from him today.

"I guess that's ok. Most kids have to see their parents kissing." He tries to play it off like the thought is something he will just have to bear, but Henry can't suppress his happiness at the idea that the three of them could be a family.

"This must be strange for you Henry," Regina says, worried that his happiness can't possibly be real. "You can tell us."

"It's ok Mom, really."

"Alright sweetheart, but you'll remember that you can talk to us anytime?"

"Sure." Henry doesn't move for a minute. He simply soaks in the way all three of them are sitting so close to each other, each of his mothers with a hand still touching him. Their other hands are intertwined, and Henry doesn't know when their fingers joined together, but it comforts him in a way that he can't completely wrap his mind around to know that they have this with each other.

"Can we go to the beach now?"

Regina nods and leans forward to pull Henry into another quick hug.

Emma stands and wipes the tears from her cheeks wondering how bad the mascara tracks are. "Come on," Emma says extending her hand to help Henry up off the floor. "Today we are dragging your mom into the water."

Henry grins conspiratorially at Emma.

As the walk to the car Henry thinks about family time and all three of them being happy. He thinks of his moms smiling. He thinks of being safe and loved. And he tries his hardest to let those thoughts push the fear from his mind.


	11. Chapter 11

"You guys can hold hands you know," Henry declares on the drive to the beach. Regina and Emma are in the front seat lost in their own thoughts.

"What's that dear?" Regina asks, glancing back at Henry in the rearview mirror.

"I said that it's ok with me if you and Emma hold hands or kiss or whatever you would normally do."

Emma turns around in the passenger's seat with a grin on her face. "You think your mom and I are a make out all the time kind of couple huh?"

Henry shrugs. "I don't know. I just don't want you to be weird because I'm here, because I think it's cool that you're together. Really."

Regina wonders if Henry needs some proof that this is real, needs to see his mothers being together. She reaches a hand out and rests in on Emma's leg.

The light touch takes Emma by surprise even in the midst of this conversation. She and Regina have had few casual touches. They mostly touch each other in bed at night, touches that are deeply intimate: fingers inside each other or bodies spooned against one another. The feeling of Regina's hand resting gently on Emma is different.

Emma reaches down and clasps her hand with Regina's, holding their joined hands up to show Henry before letting their hands rest on her lap. "Ok, kid?"

Henry rolls his eyes and goes back to reading his comic book, but he can't stop himself from glancing up at his mothers every few minutes during the drive to stare at their joined hands and the easy smiles on their faces.

* * *

"Give me ten minutes to lie in the sun and then you can drag me into the water."

"Fine," Emma says with a huff at Regina. "Come on Henry."

"Ten minutes Mom. We're counting!"

Emma follows Henry into the insanely cold water. Sixty-degree water in the middle of summer makes her miss Florida. She ducks under a wave, immediately regretting it when the water numbs her whole body.

"I think your mom had a good idea," Emma tells Henry. "Lying on the beach might be the way to go today."

"Stop being such a wimp."

"That's how you're going to play it, huh?" Emma splashes water at Henry and he shrieks as the cold hits his previously dry torso.

"Hey!"

"Serves you right kid."

Emma looks at her son's smile, and for the first time since they brought him home from Neverland, she thinks that he might recover.

Henry sees the grin forming on Emma's face. "What?" he asks.

"Just happy."

"You really love my mom, don't you?"

"Love is a complicated thing Henry. Your mom and I are still figuring out what we feel for each other, but we definitely really like each other."

Henry rolls his eyes. Sometimes grown ups make things far more complicated than necessary. "When did you start liking her? You two used to hate each other."

"I didn't really know your mom until we had to work together to find you. I got to see a different side of her then."

"Mom's different with people she loves – or likes, whatever."

"You're impossible. But yeah, your mom didn't have an easy life and she learned to hide a lot of herself behind a wall, including a lot of the good things, like how strongly she loves."

"Why?"

Emma smiles, because even after what he's been through, Henry can't even begin to understand the way that life hardens people like Regina and Emma, the way that it teaches them that the only reward for goodness is pain. She hopes that her son never understands that lesson.

"She's been hurt a lot."

"So have you," Henry says wisely, and Emma marvels at how much her son understands about her that she was certain she had hidden from him.

"Yeah."

"But you like my mom, even though she was the queen?"

Emma hears the absence of the word _evil_, hears her son asking silently if it's ok for him to love his mom too. Emma puts her hand on Henry's shoulder and tells him, "Yes. What I know about your mom is that she was willing to die for you, that she loves you more than anything else in this whole world. And even if I felt nothing else for her, there would still be a part of me that loved her for being your mother."

Henry nods gratefully. If the Savior can forgive Regina, then it feels ok for him to forgive her too; it feels ok for him to continue loving his mom just as much as he always has.

* * *

"Time's up," Henry announces, standing over Regina and blocking her sunlight.

"Alright dear, here I come."

Regina tosses her sunglasses and sarong on the beach blanket.

"That was easier than I expected," Emma tells Regina, "I thought I was going to have to drag you."

"You always underestimating me, dear. I rather enjoy the water. I just would prefer if it weren't so cold."

"Mom's a really good swimmer," Henry informs Emma as they wade into the ocean again.

As if to prove the point, Regina dives under a wave propelling herself further from shore. Her head pops up and Emma watches as Regina swims for a few minutes before returning to Emma and Henry's side. Emma wonders where Regina learned to swim. Were there beaches in the Enchanted Forest? The closest things to a body of water that Emma had seen were some wells and a dried up lake.

"Come here," Regina says to Henry. "I want to see if I can still throw you."

"I'm too big," Henry says with a smile.

Regina is up for the challenge, and she is certain that watching her fail will make Henry laugh. Hearing her son laugh has become one of her most sought after prizes since returning from Neverland.

"I bet you're not," Regina says, taking Henry's hand and pulling him towards her. Regina kneels down and Henry rolls his eyes before standing on his mom's thighs. "Ready?"

"Try your best," Henry says with a skeptical smile.

"3…2…1" Regina stands and throws Henry. He lands a foot from her with a large splash. It's far from the impressive distance they achieved when Henry was small and Regina would have to make sure not to throw him too hard, but he is giggling just the same.

* * *

"Emma it's your turn," Henry says handing her the dice.

Emma holds out her hand, but the nausea that's been nagging at Emma since getting home from the beach is intensifying. Emma bolts from the table and runs for the toilet.

The memories hit with the nausea like they always do. Eleven years old and lying on the bathroom floor of a foster home. Throwing up violently for hours and hours, begging to go to the doctor, before she blacked out. She had woken up in the hospital, minus her appendix and with a ticket back to a group home.

Emma has been beat up, stabbed, grazed by a bullet, but being nauseated

is Emma's least favorite feeling in the world.

Emma makes it to the toilet just in time. The feeling of the cold tiles beneath her bring her back to that day as a child, to the feeling of being so completely alone and desperate and helpless.

Emma doesn't register Regina's presence until she hears the toilet flushing and feels a cup of water being pressed into her hand. Emma startles slightly as Regina sits down next to her. Emma needs to focus on something – anything – to keep her in the present. She chooses Regina's socks – surprisingly pink; they had make Emma laugh the second Regina put them. Emma stares at the socks, but they're pink, and so was the hospital room she had woken up to all those years ago, and she's back there again.

A sob rips from Emma's throat.

"Is she ok?" Henry asks from the doorway.

Regina looks up, surprised by her son's voice. "Emma's fine, dear. Can you please go get her a can of ginger ale?"

"Emma?" Regina says softly, placing her hand on the small of Emma's back.

"I feel sick," Emma moans, sounding so very young.

Regina looks at Emma with more concern than Emma has ever seen directed at her. It only makes her cry harder.

"I'm sorry Regina."

"Why are you sorry?"

Emma wipes the tears from her cheeks feeling absolutely ridiculous. "Being sick like this," Emma begins, thinking that she owes Regina an explanation. "It reminds me of…"

Regina waits, her hand still and firm on Emma's back. Regina's presence is steadying and comforting besides Emma, but words simply won't come.

Henry walks in a moment later with a can of soda. "Thank you Henry," Regina says taking the soda from his hand. "Why don't you go put your pajamas on and watch some TV? I'll be upstairs to tuck you in soon." Henry nods nervously. "Emma's fine. Just a little stomach bug, ok?"

Regina looks at Emma, expecting her to reassure Henry as well, but Emma remains silent, lost in her thoughts. Regina smiles reassuringly at Henry, and he reluctantly leaves and goes upstairs.

"Emma?"

"Huh?" Emma looks up at Regina.

"Can I get you anything?" Regina asks as she begins to rub circles on Emma's back.

"No I'm fine," Emma lies.

Emma waits for Regina to leave, but she remains besides Emma.

"Do you want to try sipping some ginger ale?" Regina asks, opening the can and holding it out to Emma.

Emma blinks and tries to keep herself present. She takes the can from Regina, watches as the condensation falls down the can onto her fingers. Emma takes a few sips and remembers that she hates ginger ale.

"Why do you keep ginger ale in the house?"

"Henry was prone to stomach aches when he was small. I still keep soda in the refrigerator for him just in case."

"Oh." Emma wonders what it felt like for Henry to grow up with a mother who cared about an upset stomach, who planned ahead for such events, who wanted to soothe even the smallest pain as quickly as possible.

"Do you think you're going to throw up again or would you like to lie down?"

Emma doesn't understand why Regina is still here, impossibly calm and strong next to her.

"Uh, I don't think I'm going to puke again right now. I guess I could go lie down." Emma doesn't want to be alone, but she knows that she can't just make Regina keep sitting here with her.

Regina wraps her arm around Emma's waist, and even though Emma has no problem walking on her own, she lets Regina hold her.

Emma stops as they pass the door to the guest bedroom. "Maybe I should sleep in here tonight. I don't want to get you sick."

"Don't be ridiculous," Regina says, leaving no room for negotiation as she pulls Emma along to her bedroom.

Emma sits down on the edge of the bed. "Stay right there," Regina commands, "I just need to make sure that Henry is alright, and then I'll be right back." Emma would roll her eyes at being treated like an invalid, but the feeling of being taken care of is too much to resist.

* * *

Regina wakes up with Emma every time she runs to the bathroom. 12:30 am, 1:02 am, 2:19 am, and now 2:49 am.

"You don't need to keep getting up," Emma tells Regina after the brunette has flushed the toilet and handed Emma a cup of water. "You must be exhausted." Emma rinses her mouth out.

"Don't worry dear. I'm not the one puking her guts out."

"Yeah, but you're not sleeping are you? You're just waiting for me to wake up."

Regina smiles at Emma and takes the empty water glass from her hand. "Do you feel up to returning to bed?"

"I'm going to stay here a few more minutes, but you should go back to sleep. Really."

"I'm fine right here."

Another wave of nausea hits and Emma is bending over the toilet. Regina reaches out to pull Emma's hair back as she vomits.

Emma wipes her mouth and lays her head on the rim of the toilet seat. She feels so sick. It's the middle of the night and she feels so very sick. The tears take Emma by surprise, but she is sobbing against the porcelain with no idea of how to make herself stop.

"It's ok. You're going to feel better soon," Regina soothes.

"That's not…"

"I know," Regina says, rubbing Emma's back.

Emma wants to explain that she isn't just being a baby; that she isn't crying about a stupid stomach bug. Regina moves closer, her arm wrapping around Emma's shoulder and pulling Emma against her chest. The warmth of Regina's body makes the tears come faster.

"I know," Regina repeats softly. "I know."


	12. Chapter 12

The first thought that Emma has when she wakes up is that she needs a shower. The nausea is gone, but she feels disgusting. Dried sweat is coating her skin and her hair feels oily – and she really, really hopes she didn't vomit on it.

"How are you feeling?" Emma startles at the sound of Regina's voice.

"Better." Emma looks down at her hand. Regina's fingers are loosely threaded with Emma's. Emma can't remember when that happened.

"Good," Regina says with a smile. "Do you want to sleep more? It's still early."

"What time is it?" Emma mumbles. She lifts up her free hand to wipe some drool from the corner of her mouth, surprised with Regina looks at her with an expression that suggests she finds that rather endearing.

"It's just after 5:30."

"That's too early to be awake even if I hadn't been sick all night."

"Come here," Regina says pulling Emma towards her.

Emma lets out an exaggerated sigh for effect as she lets Regina spoon her. "You're bossy."

"I was Queen for many years. It was a necessary part of the job."

"Why do I have the feeling that you were bossy even before you were Queen?"

"I have no idea dear."

Emma sneaks her cold feet between Regina's legs to warm her toes. "Next time I get to be the big spoon."

"Whatever you say." Regina lays her head against Emma's neck and closes her eyes.

* * *

Emma wakes again at the far more decent hour of 8 o'clock.

Regina's arms are wrapped around Emma while Regina sleeps soundly. This is later than Emma has ever seen Regina sleep, but Emma knows that Regina probably didn't sleep at all until this morning. Regina had stayed up to make sure that Emma was ok, had held her hair and rubbed her back, and made sure that Emma felt…

The word is in her head now. Henry said it enough times yesterday that Emma had found herself unable to shake it. And last night, Emma thinks, had felt more liked being loved than anything ever has.

Emma slips out of Regina's embrace, glad when her bedmate barely stirs. It's been years since Emma has woken up in someone's arms; the last person had been Neal. Neal who she loved, who she is pretty sure loved her too, Neal who had betrayed her anyway.

Emma peeks into Henry's room; he's still sleeping soundly, and so she decides that it's ok if she takes a drive for a little while just to clear her head.

* * *

Going for a drive doesn't get you too far in place as small as Storybrooke. Even though Emma can cross the town line safely, she decides to stay within the town's confines. She thinks that driving past that line is too much of a temptation to do what she has always done and run like hell when she's afraid. Emma promised Henry that she wouldn't do that to him, and so she stays in Storybrooke, drives to the line and back to town, and then decides that perhaps a walk will help.

"Emma!" Mary Margaret's cheerful voice calls out the moment that Emma's car door opens.

"Hi."

"I was just on my way to _Granny's_. Would you like to join me?"

"I don't really have time. I'm sure Henry'll be awake soon, and I shouldn't leave him for too long."

"What's wrong?" Snow asks, and Emma wonders whether she's lost her poker face or if Snow knows her better than Emma thought.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Emma," Snow says in a tone that makes Emma feel like a teenager again.

"I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Is Henry alright?"

"Yeah, Henry's fine."

Snow scrutinizes her daughter. "Is this about Regina?"

"No," Emma lies.

"It's ok," Snow says, smiling at her daughter. "Why don't we take a walk?"

They walk in silence for a few minutes; Emma's stomach turning with fear at the thought of what her mother is about to say, how much she knows. When Snow finally speaks, the words are far from what Emma had expected.

"Regina is the person who taught me about true love."

"What?"

"I was a child then," Snow says, looking lost in her memories. "So was she, I suppose."

Emma wants to ask. She wants to know about the Regina who had believed in true love. She wants to know how young Regina was when she crossed paths with Snow, watched her fiancé die, and was married to the king. But these are things that Emma believes must come from Regina herself. Emma has no right to hear them without Regina's permission.

Emma says nothing, is unsure of where Snow is going with this conversation.

"I know that you think I'm naïve Emma."

"No, Mary Margaret."

"It's ok," Snow says with a smile.

"I'm not unaware of what I did to Regina. I'm the reason that she lost Daniel, and I know that she didn't want to marry my father." Snow swallows hard as her vision blurs with the tears. "I know that Regina's life has never been happy." Snow can't say more, can't bring herself to consider the cruelties that Regina suffered, to consider what that might mean about Snow's father who she loves dearly or about Snow herself.

"I have known Regina for a very long time, and as much as she tries to deny it, I know there is good insider of her. And I know that she will do anything for the people that she loves." Snow looks at Emma with such intensity and such knowing that Emma can have no doubt that she has been able to hide nothing.

"Mary Margaret…"

"It's ok, Emma."

But Emma can't understand what her mother is saying to her right now because it seems utterly inconceivable that Mary Margaret could accept the women who she spent so long hating being with her daughter.

Snow sees the fear written all over Emma's face, and so she stops walking and reaches up to touch Emma's cheek before speaking again. "My sweet little girl. There are so many things that I wanted to teach you, but most of all I wanted to raise you to believe in love. I wanted to tell you the same words that Regina told me: that true love is the most powerful magic in the world because it creates happiness. You look happy Emma."

"How are you ok with this? I don't even know if I'm ok with this!"

Snow wishes that she could have raised Emma to know love and to accept it freely. Snow wishes that so much were different, but she thinks that maybe she can at least do this one difficult thing for her daughter and help her accept Regina's love.

"I'm ok with this, because I want you to be happy."

"But you hate Regina."

Snow shakes her head. "I've wished that I could hate Regina for so long. When you're with her I see kindness in her eyes that I haven't seen with anyone besides Henry in so many years."

Emma's heart is beating painfully hard, because even Mary Margaret can see that this is something real. Emma doesn't know how to handle real.

"I know that you're scared," Snow tells Emma. "And I would imagine that Regina is too, but love is worth it Emma. It truly is." Tears fall from Snow's eyes. She wants to beg Emma to believe this. She wants so much for her daughter to be happy. "Please, Emma. Please."

* * *

"I'm sure Emma is fine," Regina tells Henry as he fiddles nervously with the glass of orange juice in his hands.

"Why wasn't she here when we woke up?"

"Maybe there was an emergency at the station," Regina suggests, though she is as worried about what Emma's absence means as Henry is.

"Or maybe she left." Henry has seen this before, over and over again when Pan had him. He would wake up one morning to find Emma gone, and he had known that she didn't care enough about him to stay.

"Emma promised you yesterday that she wasn't going to leave, remember?" Regina can barely breathe when she thinks about the possibility that Emma left. It would destroy Henry. And it would be Regina's fault for frightening Emma away.

"I know," Henry says, looking unconvinced and frightened.

Regina pulls Henry into a hug and he clings to her in a way that she both loves and hates.

"I love you Mom," Henry tells Regina as she holds him tightly and leaves him with no doubt that she would never willingly abandon him.

"I love you too Henry." Regina presses a kiss to her son's hair before adding, "And Emma loves you." He needs to hear this, Regina knows. She has learned in these last weeks that what seemed like unconditional love and trust for his birthmother had really been a desperate plea for Emma to be the person that Henry wanted her to be. A year ago this realization would have filled Regina with relief and joy, but now it only makes her sad for how much her son hurts.

"What do you say we make sticky buns this morning?" Regina asks.

"Yeah, sounds good." Henry gathers his courage and tries to embrace the distraction his mother is offering. "I'll get the ingredients."

As soon as Henry walks away Regina picks up her phone.

_Where are you? _she types. But the words make her feel uncomfortable, make her feel like a person that she doesn't want to be anymore. Emma isn't her possession.

Regina deletes the words and writes instead: _Are you ok? _

She sends the message and waits. She stares at her phone and waits for an indication that Henry's world isn't about to be shattered.

* * *

Emma had already been halfway up the walkway when Regina's text came in, and immediately Emma feels guilty for worrying Regina. Regina and probably Henry too. It makes Emma's heart sink, makes her feel like a failure.

Henry runs into Emma's arms the second she opens the door. "Emma!"

"Hey kid." Emma holds him tightly against her chest. She looks up when she hears Regina's walking towards her.

Regina smiles at her sweetly, and Emma thinks that despite the guilt and fear and boatload of abandonment issues all around, that this is what coming home should be. A child running into her arms and a woman looking so happy to have her home. It's not something that Emma had ever thought she could have, still can't quite believe is really here in front of her.

"We're making sticky buns," Henry announces, making this whole thing even more absurdly domestic. "Come help." He grasps Emma's hand and pulls along towards the waiting dough.

Regina follows behind them, practically collapsing into a chair in the kitchen overcome by relief.

* * *

Regina and Emma find a moment alone once the sticky buns are in the oven and Henry has gone to take a shower.

"I'm so sorry about this morning," Emma begins.

"It's alright dear," Regina replies, her voice sweet and controlled and completely false. Emma wonders if Regina can possibly think she buys this.

"No, I shouldn't have left without a note or anything. I just kind of freaked out, but shit, I should never have left without a note."

Regina feels nauseated, wonders how close Emma came to running. Regina stiffens her spine, standing up straighter, trying to remember how to screw her face up into an impassive mask.

Emma feels the way Regina's body shifts besides her, the way she is closing herself off, moving further and further out of reach. Emma cannot let that happen.

"Last night," Emma begins, and already she can feel the tears clawing at her throat. "I wanted to tell you things that I have never told anyone. I don't…I don't think I can yet, but you have to know that I have never even _wanted_ to before."

Regina nods and terror washes over her for a whole new reason: Emma needs her. Regina has always hurt the people that she loves, always, and more and more she has begun to wonder whether that isn't what she feels for Emma. But it would be so cruel to love Emma, so cruel for Regina to be the person that Emma wants to share herself with. Emma deserves so much better.

"You shouldn't want that from me Emma."

Emma watches the sadness wash over Regina's face. Emma sees a kind of self-loathing that she herself feels clawing at the edges of her consciousness most days.

"Why the hell not? Do you know that no one has ever stayed awake with me when I was sick before?"

"The fact that you have never had anyone capable of being there for you does not mean that you need to settle for the first person –"

"No!" Emma says, cutting Regina off. "No," she repeats softly. "I don't think you understand how incredible last night was. I felt…" _loved_. Emma can conjure up the memory of Regina's arms around her, holding her, soothing her, and she feels it: love. It warms her even now. Her cheeks burn and she can't say the word out loud, doesn't want to feel like a fool if the intent behind those gestures hadn't in fact been love. "It just…" Emma shakes her head, overwhelmed and unsure of any other word to use. "Thank you Regina. I don't think you know what you gave me last night."

Regina takes Emma's hand in her own. "It's what you always should have had. Always."

"I never did."

"I'm sorry."

"I want to tell you one day. One day over a hell of a lot of whiskey."

"When you're ready I'll have the drinks waiting."

Emma looks at Regina, at the softness of her expression, the care and kindness in her eyes. Emma still struggles to wrap her head around anyone looking at her like this.

"You're thinking too hard again," Regina teases.

"How are you not? How is this just ok? How is everyone ok with this but me?"

Regina quirks at eyebrow at the word everyone, but mercifully doesn't ask. "I told you Emma. I haven't been happy in a very long time, and now I am." Regina shrugs and smiles at Emma, and thinks of how this is so very simple if she can just let it be. "I'm too selfish to walk away from anything that feels this good."

Emma lets that sink in, lets herself digest the fact that maybe she gives Regina something that feels like what Emma had felt last night. "You have a strange definition of selfish, you know. Holding someone's hair back when they're puking isn't at the top of most people's favorite things to do list."

"How are you feeling?" Regina asks, and Emma is grateful for an end to a conversation that feels frightening and real and too much to handle right now.

"Fine. I guess it was just food poisoning."

"Do you want me to make you something a little easier on the stomach than sticky buns?"

"I think I'll try my luck with the sticky buns. They smell delicious."

"They are," Regina agrees.

Emma is smiling widely and genuinely, and Regina is overcome by affection and by a desire to be closer to Emma. Regina wraps her arms around Emma's waist, feels Emma's hands clasp together loosely at the small of her back. They hold each other and for a moment they simply let themselves feel.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. I was away from computers and internet for a couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy the chapter. I think there will be one or two more after this one._

* * *

Regina startles awake, disoriented by the feeling of weight on her chest. She reaches out to grab at whatever is holding her down, but catches herself just in time. Emma, it's just Emma. Sprawled out as usual, her arm thrown across Regina.

Regina lets out a deep breath and calms herself. The sight of Emma sleeping peacefully is both soothing and still a bit unsettling. Regina is not unaware of the growing intensity of her feelings for Emma, and the idea that she might actually be falling in love with the woman sleeping besides her is frightening. Regina stops herself from thinking about it further. For now she simply closes her eyes and focuses on the gentle breeze blowing in from the open window.

There's a chill in the air this morning. It's mid-August, and already Regina can feel autumn in the air. The weather had been for many years the only indication that time was moving forward in Storybrooke. Then Henry had come to Regina and time had been measured by the growth of a small boy, by the milestones that amazed her more than any magic ever could.

"Mmmm," Emma moans and rolls over so that she is resting against Regina's side. Regina smiles at the blonde's fondness for snuggling in the morning. "Good morning."

Regina wonders if she will ever get used to the way Emma is smiling sweetly at her. The thought that she is undeserving of such a gaze gnaws at Regina.

"Good morning," Regina says, smiling despite the surge of unease in her chest. She wonders how long this can last.

"What time is it?" Emma mumbles against Regina's chest.

"7:15," Regina answers, a hand finding it's way into Emma hair, hoping the familiar feel of silky locks will soothe her.

"How long have you been awake?"

"I just woke up. I hope I didn't wake you."

"Nah. We went to bed early last night. It feels like time to get up."

Emma stares at Regina, her eyes heavily lidded with the remnants of sleep, hair wild, lips parted slightly. Emma thinks of the guarded woman who Emma first met when she came to Storybrooke. It warms Emma's heart that Regina, who is so strong and so hurt and so determined not to be vulnerable, is lying here like this with her.

Emma's chest surges with an emotion that she tries and tries not to name, but even if she's had so little in her life, she knows it somehow, knows that she loves Regina. Fear rolls over Emma in sickening waves. She can't love Regina; she can't love anyone. She had promised herself years ago that she wouldn't be so foolish. But it's there, deep in her chest: love.

Emma bites back the fear, tells herself to ignore the feeling that only grows stronger as she continues staring at Regina.

Emma leans forward and presses her lips against Regina's. Emma loses herself in her growing need and forgets all else.

* * *

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Regina asks as she places a box of fruit roll ups in the shopping cart.

"Because I know that Henry hates those things." Emma smiles as she imagines Regina discovering fruit snack for the first time upon arriving in Storybrooke.

Regina rolls her eyes and pushes the cart down the aisle. "What do you want for dinner tonight?" she asks.

"Can we make something out of the Indian cook book that you have? I've been dying for some curry. Next time you conjure up a town, you need to remember to add some more diverse restaurant choices."

"I will try to remember that," Regina attempts to deadpan, but she can't help the way that the corners of her lips turn upward.

Emma grins feeling quite pleased with herself. "Stop trying not to smile. You think I'm adorable."

"I think no such thing," Regina insists, but her smile only grows larger as Emma bumps their hips together before wrapping an arm around Regina's waist.

Emma sees it first – Snow turning her shopping cart down their aisle. But before Emma has time to prepare Regina, Snow is besides them with her ever-present smile. "Hi Emma, Regina. Lovely morning isn't it?"

Regina tries to keep her breathing even as she moves quickly away from Emma. Snow must have seen them touching though, and at the realization Regina feels like she can't get any air. She moves further from Emma. "Good morning."

Snow doesn't seem to notice Regina's intense discomfort. "Do you have anything planned for the day? Better make the most of the weather before summer ends."

"Mostly errands today actually," Emma tells her mother. "Henry thinks he wants to try going to school on the first day, so we're going to pick him up when we drop off the groceries and then go get school supplies."

"Oh Emma, that's wonderful," Snow declares. "I'm so happy for both of you."

"Yes well, like Emma said, we have a busy day," Regina says with a curt nod before turning and striding down the aisle away from Snow.

* * *

Regina unloads the last of the shopping bags and gets into the driver's seat, burying her face in her palms. Her breathing is heavy, and she feels panic overtaking her.

Emma enters the car a moment later after returning the cart. "Regina, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! You're mother saw us. She might be a bit slow, but even she couldn't have missed your arm around me."

Emma bites on her lower lip nervously. "Regina…"

Regina wonders if this is it, if Emma will leave, if everything will be over before Snow even has a chance to ruin it.

"She kind of already knows."

"What?!" Regina asks furiously, "How the hell does she know Emma. What did you tell her?"

When Emma looks at Regina though it isn't anger she sees but fear. Eyes darting around furiously like a trapped animal. Regina looks terrified, like her whole world is about to be torn apart and she doesn't know anyway to stop it.

"I didn't tell her much. She just knew we were together. Apparently she can spot happiness on your face." Emma sees that Regina is deathly pale and looks like she might throw up. "What's wrong?"

"Your mother knows about us!"

Emma reaches out and grabs Regina's arm. "Hey, it's ok."

"Why would you tell her?" Regina growls.

"I just told you, I didn't tell her, I swear. She just knew."

Emma watches as despair and resignation overtake Regina.

"It's going to be ok," Emma reassures Regina who is shaking her head as tears begin to fall. Emma doesn't know what to do. Regina has been so certain, so strong, from the moment they walked on the Jolly Roger. And now she's falling apart, and Emma doesn't know how to handle that. She has no idea what she's going to do if Regina doesn't believe in them, because Emma isn't strong enough, doesn't have nearly enough faith, to hold them up. "It's ok. Please, I'm sorry."

But Regina doesn't seem angry anymore. Her body is shaking and she looks hopeless. "Regina," Emma whispers, bending down to try to catch Regina's eye. "What is it?"

"Your mother knows."

"She does, but she is actually bizarrely fine about it. Like she seems to want us to be together."

Regina is quiet for a long moment before she whispers into the silence in the car. "The last time your mother meddled in my relationships Daniel died."

Emma has heard the name before but never the full story. "Well I'm pretty sure she isn't going to kill me," Emma jokes.

"You don't understand, Emma. Whether she means to or not, your mother takes everything from me. My fiancé, my mother, my freedom."

Emma does the only thing that she can think to do and kisses Regina. She resists for a moment, caught off guard and not wanting to be soothed, but the gentle massage of Emma's tongue against her bottom lip calms Regina. Even as her mind still races with the horrible possibilities her heartbeat steadies, her mouth responds, and she loses herself momentarily in Emma.

When they pull apart there are tears streaming down Regina's face, and all of a sudden it hits Emma: Regina loves her. The tears, the terror; this wouldn't be happening if Regina didn't care so deeply for Emma, if she didn't love her.

"What is it?" Regina asks seeing the way Emma has suddenly frozen up.

Emma stares at Regina debating whether to say anything, wondering whether she could be wrong, whether saying these words could ruin everything. But Regina still looks terrified, and Emma thinks that even if this doesn't soothe Regina, it will sure as hell be a good distraction. "You love me."

Regina looks horrified, caught, ready to deny it, until Emma realizes her mistake. "That's good. It's really good. I love you too."

"You…how?" Regina can feel the weight of her past on her; can hear her mother's voice telling her that she is bad, that she will always be bad.

Emma's heart is pounding in her ears. "I don't know," she says with a nervous laugh. "I think this is supposed to be one of those things that you can't really explain."

Emma is staring at Regina with an expression so nervous and sweet and innocent even after a lifetime of experiences that should have stripped her of all goodness. So even as Regina wants to deny it with everything in her, she can't. She can't look at Emma anymore and not say the words; she can't deny Emma this any longer. "I do love you Emma."

When Emma sobs and laughs in relief all Regina can do is repeat those words: "I love you."

"Good. Ok, good. We love each other." Emma says the words out loud, taking a minute to appreciate how incredibly strange this is. "What now?"

"What do you mean _what now_? Do you want a five year plan?"

Emma blushes. "No, I didn't mean…I just, this is something I never expected, you know?"

"Believe me, I do. Falling in love with Snow White's daughter was never part of my plan."

Emma laughs at that, because sometimes the absurdity of her life is too much to do anything but laugh at. "I bet not."

They smile easily at each other, let the confessions and the truths sit between them. Regina is the first to break the silence. "We should get home. Henry is waiting for us."

Emma looks at her watch and realizes that they've been gone over a half hour. "He hasn't even called to check up on us."

The two mothers share a proud smile before heading home to their son.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Thanks for the lovely response to this story. I'm sorry for the long delay in updating; I've been quite busy! One more chapter to go after this._

* * *

It's cold and rainy and despite still being August only 53 degrees outside. The smell of cinnamon and cardamom fills the air as Emma sits on her perch by the kitchen island watching Regina work.

Regina presses a steaming cup of chai into Emma's hands. "Something to keep you occupied while you wait for breakfast."

"I'm not a child," Emma insists before she takes a sip of the milky tea.

"Of course not dear," Regina says with a grin. Emma knows that she should protest the patronizing tone, but she can't bring herself to feel much besides content right now.

"It feels like fall," Emma says inhaling the richly scented tea. "When are your apples going to be ripe? It isn't fall until I have apple pie and apple cider donuts. Oh and apple crisp. Do you have a good crisp recipe?"

Regina looks at Emma utterly confused. Last time Regina had offered Emma an apple filled desert it had been poisoned.

"What?" Emma asks. "I love apple pie, and it's going to take a little more than some poison to scare me off."

Regina's chest aches with the words of forgiveness – forgiveness that she knows she doesn't deserve. "I'm sorry," she whispers. She had been so lost then and so desperate, spiraling further and further out of control in a way she hadn't since leaving the Enchanted Forest.

Emma nods in acknowledgment, and somehow it doesn't feel frightening that the woman she goes to bed with at night is the same one who tried to curse her. Emma can sense the change in Regina. "You can make it up to me with delicious, non-toxic pie."

Regina laughs and grins at Emma. Change and forgiveness are difficult and complicated issues for Regina, and the more she thinks about them the more she suspects that it's time to apologize to Archie and inquire whether his couch is still available. Regina can see that she's being given a chance to move forward and be happy, and even though everything in Regina is screaming in fear at the prospect, she decides to seize the opportunity. "The apples should be ready in a couple of weeks, and I will be happy to make as many apple themed deserts as you would like."

Henry bounds down the stairs then, stilled dressed in his pajamas with his hair a mess. Emma watches Regina smile at their son – so filled with love and pride -

and in this moment things feel perfect. But fear pulls at Emma, because this is everything that she dreamed of from the time she was a small child: a family, love. She has learned not to trust the promise of a family, because every time she had come close it had been ripped away from her. And this feels far too good to be real. Emma nearly stands up and leaves this room filled with people who love her, but then Regina must see her panicking, because there is suddenly a calming hand on Emma's cheek and Emma feels like for the first time in her life someone understands her fears and her weaknesses and is willing to ride them out with her. She reaches up and covers Regina's hand with her own.

Regina stares at Emma with love and acceptance, and in that moment Emma promises herself that she won't leave, that she won't run from this simply because it frightens her.

"Morning kid," Emma says as Henry sits down on the chair next to her.

"Morning," Henry replies as he grabs a banana from the fruit bowl in front of him.

"I'm making a frittata," Regina tells her son. "It's almost ready to go in the oven."

"Do you want help?"

"That's ok, sweetheart. I'm almost done."

"Ok," Henry says, taking another bite of his banana. He stares down at the sheet of papers he left on the kitchen island the night before: his class schedule and a map of the middle school.

Henry is still staring at the paper a few minutes later when Regina puts the frittata in the oven. "Do you want to go through it one more time?" she asks with a smile, trying to assure him that it's all right to be anxious.

"We don't have to," Henry says, looking down at the map in embarrassment. They visited the school yesterday and walked to all his classes. If he gets lost he can ask for help. But the nervousness in the pit of his stomach won't go away.

"It helps me to feel prepared for new experiences too," Regina says, standing behind Henry and running a hand through his hair. She remembers his first day of kindergarten, how he had been such a fearless little boy ready for the next adventure.

"Ok," Henry says looking down at the schedule. "First period I have math. That's in B hall."

"Mmhmm," Regina confirms peering at the schedule. She has practically memorized it herself after they had repeatedly rehearsed the previous night.

"Second period is chemistry," Henry scrunches up his nose at that.

"I second that," Emma says causing Henry to laugh.

"I don't want to hear any negativity before the school year even starts," Regina tells both of them.

Emma rolls her eyes and offers a droll, "Yes Mom."

"Chemistry is quite interesting," Regina insists.

Henry speaks from his seat between his mothers: "You just like it because it's like magic, and you're good at magic."

Regina is taken aback, because Henry only mentions her using magic when he accuses her of being evil. But she looks at her son now, and he's smiling teasingly up at her. Regina smiles nervously back at Henry who seems oblivious to the weight of the moment.

But Emma doesn't miss the way Regina swallows around the lump in her throat as Henry continues to recite his schedule. Emma watches as Regina leans forward, wrapping a protective arm around Henry as he chatters on about how excited he is for history class. Emma reaches out and settles her hand on Regina's back.

Regina's heart flutters nervously. She has her son and she someone who loves her; it's everything that Regina has longed for since she was a small child staring up at the sky and wishing that she had a fairy god mother to bring her what her heart desired.

Love. She feels it now so strongly that it seems to obscure the pain and the hate. So strongly that all Regina can do is accept it.


End file.
